Salary

Average Salary: $156,150

Expected Lifetime Earnings: $6,158,000


Corporate attorneys are widely known for being money-hungry leeches, and you are the ultimate corporate attorney. Which means you make ultimate, top-notch, in-sane amounts of money. Let’s gain a little perspective before we figure out how much you make. Lawyers are negotiating settlements worth hundreds of billions (with a b!) of dollars, which means even if they get just a three percent, you’re making millions and millions.

Tobacco companies don’t give one flip how much they pay you. Whatever it is, they know, is a drop in the bucket compared to their overall profits in a year. Yes, maybe they have to settle. But so what? Who cares? They’ll make it up through 80-cent price hikes on cigarettes next year.

The top guys in the biz make in the high tens of millions of dollars. Basically, whether you’re being paid in hundreds of dollars per hour, or most likely, contingent fees (percent of settlement), you’re filthy stinking rich.