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Mutual Fund Manager

Bell Curve

1
5%

Ever hear of "clearance?" That is, if you hear inside information, you"re supposed to go to a lawyer in your firm, confirm everything, and quickly freeze trading in the security. But you forgot. Oh well. Say hi to Bubba; you two are gonna get real tight.

2
25%

You invest. You recommend. But you suck. You get fired. Luckily you passed the Shmoop Series 7 exam so you can get a job selling stocks to widows and orphans as a broker in a small office.

3
50%

You survive. You invest about as well as Mr. Market. You remain at a modest-sized fund for 25 years, save your pennies, and eventually retire with lots of war stories and dreams of stocks gone by.

4
75%

You're at a big fund house and you do really well. You end up running the place for $10 million a year and get offered amazing golf packages which you have to reimburse personally, but who cares—it's Augusta.

5
95%

You start your own fund series. And it's successful. Results are so good, in fact, that you don't need much marketing: CNBC does it for you. Billionaire status with all the trimmings that come with being able to buy a city.

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