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Ma'at keeps meticulous records, and that includes her emails. She also has several off-site backups, in case she ever needs to pull them out for evidence.

A Correspondence With Ammit

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: A favor

Dear Ammit,

I don't mind you eating at work, since it is your job, after all. But could you do me a favor and try to eat with your mouth closed from now on? Listening to those lost souls scream on the way down your gullet is starting to give me the creeps.

Thanks,
Ma'at

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Re: A favor

Well, excuse me, Miss Better Than the Rest of Us!

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Re: Re: A favor

Wait, you really ARE better than the rest of us, aren't you?

Sorry. I'll eat in the other room.

-A

A Correspondence With Thoth

From: [email protected]
To: smarty@god[email protected]
Subject: Your other girlfriend

Thoth,

We need to talk about this other girl you've been seeing. Where'd you pick her up, the library?

Ma'at

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Re: Your other girlfriend

Dearest one,

Yes, if you must know, Seshat was in the library when I met her. She runs the place. You would know that already, if you ever did anything but work. I understand that you have important things to do in the Hall of Double Truths, but you could arrange a day off now and then for us to do something, couldn't you? I'm sure Anubis could cover for us in our absence. And you might even like Seshat, if you had time to meet her. She's so wise, I swear she makes me look stupid!

Let me make it up to you. Just tell me when you'll have the time.

Love always,
Beaky

A Correspondence With Seshat

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Our mutual friend

Dear Seshat,

I understand that you're dating Thoth now. I hope that he has told you about me, and that we are still seeing each other. I simply cannot deal with dishonesty, and expect the same from my friends.

Ma'at

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Re: Our mutual friend

Lady Ma'at,

Yes, Thoth told me about you as soon as we met. I hope that our relationship doesn't cause you any trouble. That would be the last thing I'd like. It seems, from the way he talks about you, that you and I have much in common. Perhaps we ought to get together and get to know each other? I have no intentions of badmouthing you, or asking Thoth to stop seeing you. I'm not a jealous goddess.

I'd be happy to meet you for coffee after work. There's a great place next to my library. My treat?

Yours,
Seshat

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Re: Re: Our mutual friend

Dear Seshat,

I'd like that. Are you busy next week?

M

A Correspondence With a Lawyer

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Your recent inquiry

Dear Rahotep,

I received your distressing letter about the murder attempt against our beloved Ramses III. It's hard to believe that some of his own wives and children would try to kill him. Are you sure? Do you have enough evidence to prosecute them? And how is His Majesty doing?

Ma'at

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Re: Your recent inquiry

Great Lady Ma'at,

My mouth touches the ground in honor of Your power. May You always guide our hands in the courts.

I regret to inform you that Userma'atra Meryamun Ramses is headed to meet his ancestors, and to be judged at Your holy scales. A poison that one of his wives had dropped into his dinner finally did him in after a long illness. Not even Sekhmet's best doctors could save him.

Our investigation has now become a murder inquiry, and I expect several members of the royal harem will be found guilty. Please guide us in this troubled time.

Rahotep

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Re: Re: Your recent inquiry

Dear Rahotep,

That is terrible news, but it explains why Anubis said he was headed to the royal quarter a few days ago. I will pass the news along to Osiris. We weep for the family.

I recommend that the criminals be burned alive or thrown from the courthouse roof into a field of sharp spikes. Leave their bodies in public, to show everyone that justice was done. If, as you say, royal wives were involved, exposure would be inappropriate, so you should simply hand them a dagger and tell them to put an end to it. This may be harsh, but it is necessary. No one should escape punishment for killing a king.

Ma'at

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