The Real Poop

The Real Poop

Home, home on the range. (The driving range, that is.) Where the Tigers and Mickelsons play. That's how the song goes, right?

Be very, very quiet. We don't want to disturb the herd.

Hey, don't judge. It's hard to make golf exciting. But if you're into it, go you. You're classy. You're sophisticated. You don't mind getting grass stains on your shoes.

And while the chances of becoming the next Tiger Woods are slimmer than getting a hole-in-one on a golf course in Mordor (which one does not even simply walk into), it is possible to play college golf. If you're a good junior golfer, you should get in touch with college coaches and visit a few campuses.

Pro-tip: Bring your best Lacoste polo, pleated khakis, a visor, and sunglasses. Tell 'em Shmoop sent ya.

(Ah, free advertising.)

Keep in mind, though: the key word here is "possible." Sure, that PGA tour golfer and King O'Cool, Jason Dufner, may have walked on to the golf team at Auburn University, but he's an exception. Walking on to a college team, on average, is really hard.

There are only so many spots on a college golf team. Landing a scholarship is the best way to snag one. It's also cheaper, and who doesn't like to save cash? No one, that's who.

Speaking of financial burdens, many of the top junior women golfers like Lydia Ko and Ginger Howard are choosing to skip college golf entirely to go pro. Some say this is because women's bodies mature sooner than men's. Yep, men gotta grow before they can go pro.

Well…that's some good news for female golfers: no student loans. Really makes up for that wage gap, no?

Yeah, no. Go to college, ladies.

Unless you're one of the top 100 golfers in the world, you should go to college. Job-hunting is way easier with a college degree. Trust us, we're doctors.

Golf is fast becoming popular internationally. Just like cat videos. Well, almost. On the men's side, six different countries are represented in the PGA's top ten players (over twenty nations are represented in the top fifty list). The biennial Ryder Cup pits the top American players against the best Europeans. Sadly, the U.S. team hasn't won since 2008.

That's a little embarrassing, guys.

You may actually need a wedge for this shot.

Also, international women clearly dominate the LPGA (source). This means there are fewer female pros coming out of American colleges. Sorry, ladies. There's always mini golf.

Don't get it twisted, though. Competitive golf at the college level is, well, no walk in the park. Even though golf is essentially just a really long walk in a park, but with clubs and obnoxiously tiny balls.

Golf is also a very psychological sport. You have to be focused, mentally resilient, and extremely patient. Everyone, and we mean everyone, has bad rounds. It's how you bounce back from a bad round that makes you a real pro.

Oh, and you actually have to be good most of the time. Duh.

On top of being skilled, you also need to have moolah. Golf is expensive. No public place will let you hit small, rock-hard spheres willy-nilly. That's dangerous, and it's a great way to get your neighbor to hate you. 

Nope, you need a designated course for that, and a lot of green is needed to rent/maintain that much green. Socioeconomic status has a big effect on the future of a young golfer. There are course fees, custom clubs, and private lessons. Not to mention all that designer golf gear, a.k.a. swag a la country club.

It's really all or nothing with golf. It's not like picking up a basketball and shooting some hoops at the rec center. Like, there are zero inspirational underdog movies about golf…except for this.

Although there are all kinds of initiatives to fund golf programs for disadvantaged youth, most people just can't afford to play golf seriously. Total bummer, but it's true.

If you've heeded our warnings and remain determined to play golf in college, keep reading for all the nitty-gritty. Or, you can keep reading because we're fun and hilarious, and you'd rather be Shmooping than doing the dishes. Fore!