Arrested Development Quotes

Context

This line is spoken by various prison guards in the TV show Arrested Development (2003-2013).

Arrested Development is pretty famous for its running jokes. This one pops up over and over again while George Bluth Sr. is doing time in prison. Whenever a member of the Bluth family visits George in the Big House and tries to hug him or even just hold his hand, a humorless prison guard in the background will shout out, "No touching!" It's a pretty stark and funny reminder that George Sr. is most definitely locked up.

But this isn't just some simple catchphrase. This joke keeps growing and morphing throughout the series. An officer's adorable daughter yells it in the "Take Your Kids to Work Day" episode. When Gob does something especially stupid, George Sr. smacks him even though he knows he'll be punished under the strict "no touching" policy. And when George Sr. gets home from prison and his wife is happy to see him, his son reminds him of one thing: "more touching!"

Get touchy-feely with this clip.

Where you've heard it

This is a pretty good way to tell anyone "hands off." Said with the right tone and assertiveness, any potential touchers will think twice before trying to give you a hug.

Here's where it's put into action beyond Arrested Development: During an episode of Chuck, Emmett (played by Tony Hale, who was also Buster in Arrested Development) shouts "no touching!" to a group of crazy fans. When Jordan's wife in The Wolf of Wall Street suspects he's cheating on her, she institutes a strict "no touching" policy around the house—ouch.

Pretentious Factor

If you were to drop this quote at a dinner party, would you get an in-unison "awww" or would everyone roll their eyes and never invite you back? Here it is, on a scale of 1-10.

Channeling a prison guard? From a cult TV show? That's enough to bump this to a "2."