Honey... It'll Kill You
- Jonathan and a young man from the army decide to go check out the Philistines. By check out, we mean scope the danger, not hit on them. We thought we should clarify.
- Jonathan wants to attack them, mostly because they're uncircumcised. Believe us, it's a big deal to the Israelites (1-7).
- So he concocts a plan to see what God wants them to do. Basically, if the Philistines start trash talking, Jonathan will know God wants them to fight. Guess what? The Philistines start trash talking. Let the fighting begin (8-12).
- Despite being vastly outnumbered, Jonathan and the youth with him win the battle. All the Philistines become afraid, especially after an earthquake hits (13-15).
- Saul realizes that Jonathan is missing, and after some running around, the Israelites want to battle the Philistines.
- The Israelites eat bloody meat because Saul's an idiot and God refuses to talk to him. We know that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but that's what the Bible says.
- Saul thinks God is silent because someone has sinned. It's determined Jonathan is the sinner because he ate honey (the nerve of some people). Saul wants to kill him because he's a great dad, but the Israelites talk him out of it.
- The Philistines and the Israelites separate to fight another day (16-52).