Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk Chapter 3 Summary

How It All Goes Down

It is Mostly In Your Head But We Have Cures For That

  • Billy still has one heckuva headache due to a hangover.
  • Josh is taking his dang time bringing Billy some Advil.
  • Shroom's funeral yesterday was a mess, thanks to some "Christian wingnuts" who found it appropriate to protest with signs about abortion saying that soldiers are going to hell.
  • Billy and Mango go to sneak some beers on the DL. Dime wouldn't be happy with them.
  • While they drink their watered-down brewskies, Billy contemplates the stereotypical Americans who are at the game, and he feels disappointed with their naïveté.
  • When Billy and Mango return to their seats, Sergeant Dime is upset that Major Mac has disappeared.
  • Billy and Mango are sent back into the crowds to locate their wayward ward.
  • It's actually kind of a problem that Major Mac has been misplaced. He's been blown up not once, but twice, resulting in profound deafness and the tendency to dissociate from reality for periods of time. He's like a big, silent, deaf zombie…without the constant hunger for brains.
  • Billy and Mango rehash the events of the previous evening at various strip-clubs that were filled to the brim with beautiful women.
  • The boys had gone out to get blindingly drunk in order to get rid of how awful they felt after Shroom's disaster of a funeral.
  • Billy was mainly just left feeling even dirtier and more disappointed that in two weeks he hadn't found himself a girlfriend. With reason: we would have, like, three girlfriends by then.
  • Just kidding, Billy. You good.
  • Billy and Mango get lost in their own private contemplations about the war, but neither one wants to actually talk about it out loud. Yeah, it's bad.
  • Billy and Mango wander into the high-end Cowboys paraphernalia store and are blown away by the "sheer balls" of it all—that they put the Cowboys logo on toasters and bathrobes and then charge hundreds of dollars for it…and people actually buy it.
  • When they begin wrastling (we believe that "wrastling" is the proper term for when you informally wrestle in a playful manner; take note, Merriam-Webster) over a dispute about the quality of the leather goods, a manager finally intercedes. They're not used to the amount of profanity and violence that the Bravo guys are.