Quote 1
"Oh! no; but if mama had not objected to it, I dare say he would have liked it of all things. He had not seen me then above twice, for it was before I left school. However I am much happier as I am. Mr. Palmer is just the kind of man I like." (20.32)
Charlotte Palmer's statement here about her husband proves that it really does take all kinds – she loves her husband, not in spite of his rudeness, but perhaps because of it. Austen proves once again that love is a mystery.
Quote 2
"How charming it will be," said Charlotte, "when he is in Parliament! -- won't it? How I shall laugh! It will be so ridiculous to see all his letters directed to him with an M.P. But do you know, he says he will never frank for me? He declares he won't. Don't you, Mr. Palmer?"
Mr. Palmer took no notice of her.
"He cannot bear writing, you know," she continued -- "he says it is quite shocking."
"No;" said he, "I never said anything so irrational. Don't palm all your abuses of language upon me."
"There now; you see how droll he is. This is always the way with him! Sometimes he won't speak to me for half a day together, and then he comes out with something so droll -- all about anything in the world." (20.24-26)
There's a profound kind of communication block going on between the Palmers – as though they're both aiming at different conversations. Mrs. Palmer's ability to block out the rudeness of her husband and genuinely laugh it off as "drollness," in combination with the fact that he can say whatever he wants to her face without fear of hurting her feelings, is perhaps the key to their marital bliss.