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Description:

Well, if this book doesn't make you want to tape over your laptop camera, we don't know what will.

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:02

1984, a la Shmoop.

00:06

Dear Diary… I think I'm paranoid. [Writing in diary]

00:09

I always feel like somebody's watching me. Maybe it's because of the giant flat screens

00:13

in my living room that monitor my every move. [TVs watch person]

00:17

Or the neighbor kids spying on me like snitches-in-training.

00:20

Or the giant posters that say, "Big Brother

00:23

is watching you." [Torn poster]

00:24

It's enough to give a guy a complex. Don’t believe me? You try peeing in front of a telescreen.…

00:30

I'm a member of the Party of Oceania, which sounds glamorous…

00:34

…but it's kind of a drag. I have to wear overalls, which are all wrong for my body

00:38

type… [Person in gray overalls]

00:39

…and my job is absolutely mind-numbing. The party likes to change history a lot, and

00:43

whenever it does, I'm the “White-out Guy.” [Holds white-out pen]

00:46

There aren't many perks to living in Oceania. [Writing in Diary]

00:49

You are the one bright spot in my life, Diary, and I'm pretty sure I'd be killed if anyone

00:54

found out that you existed.The Party isn’t exactly supportive of free thinking. [Person being judged]

00:59

It’s not like there’s any juicy bits in here, though, because I don't have much of

01:02

a love life to write about. There is one girl I’ve got the hots for, but she's sworn to

01:08

celibacy. Great. [Nun in front of church]

01:09

Plus, she acts like a real snob. I was pretty sure she hated me, too, but the other day

01:13

she slipped me a note saying that she loved me! Wowza! [I love you note.]

01:17

That kind of thing just doesn't happen in Oceania. We aren't really allowed to date,

01:21

much less fall in love. [Cops show up.]

01:23

Now that I know her, Julia and I get along pretty well, although she's not as into the

01:26

revolutionary stuff as I am. [Poster falls off wall]

01:28

She just wants me for my body. I guess I'll learn to live with it, somehow. [Couple in bed]

01:33

Julia and rented a secret room in a secondhand store without any recording devices.

01:38

Our gooses are totally cooked if we’re discovered, but torture and death won't be a big deal,

01:42

as long as Julia and I stay secretly true to each other.

01:45

I mean… how bad could a little torture be, anyway…right? …. Right?

01:49

By now you’ve probably gotten the impression that the Party is a sinister, mind-controlling

01:53

government. [Writing in diary]

01:54

You’d be correct. But there is one force that resists the party...the Brotherhood. [X-Men's Magneto appears]

01:59

No, they're not a group of mutants with superpowers, but how cool would that be?

02:03

Still, even without a telepathy-resistant helmet, anyone who fights Big Brother is okay

02:08

with me. [Police show up]

02:09

You know, this guy at work, O'Brien, gave me a weird look the other day, and it made

02:12

me wonder whether he's a member of the Brotherhood!

02:15

But it's not just something you can just come out and mention to a guy, like… telling

02:18

him he’s got spinach in his teeth. [Two people at a restaurant]

02:21

Breaking news, Diary…it’s true! O'Brien invited Julia and me over to his pad. It was

02:26

so cool. He even turned off his telescreen so nobody could eavesdrop on us!

02:31

O’Brien has tons of actual books which somehow escaped the Party’s clutches, and he loaned

02:36

me the manifesto of the Brotherhood! What a guy. [Hands over book]

02:38

I'm actually starting to think that life might not be an endless

02:41

slog fill of drudgery and despair! [Riding unicorns]

02:44

Okay, Diary. I'm writing this entry in my head, because you aren't here. Where am I?

02:48

Well, that's a funny story...

02:50

Let me sum it up for you... O'Brien is really in cahoots with the Thought Police, and he's

02:55

been watching me for 7 years. How did I not figure out that this guy was an evil genius? [Police show up]

03:00

He's also really good at torture, and his

03:02

goal is to brainwash me until I love Big Brother again. [Shows a picture]

03:05

Yeah right. I'll always secretly hate that mustachioed twerp, and keep on loving Julia.

03:11

Even if O'Brien says she ratted me out in interrogation.

03:14

Speaking of rats…I really hoped nobody would figure out that rats are my worst nightmare,

03:19

but what do you know… O'Brien guessed it!

03:21

He had rats… big, hungry rats! And he was going to put them on my face! [Cage of rats]

03:26

And you know what? I decided to opt out of that. Yes sir. I told O'Brien to put those

03:31

rats on Julia's face, not mine! And then it was over!

03:34

Shoot, if I'd known It was that easy, I would have sold Julia out a long time ago. I don't

03:38

need her anymore, anyway. I'm a happy man now. I just love Big Brother. Don't you? [Brainwashed]

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