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CAHSEE ELA 1.4 Writing: Revision 194 Views


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Description:

CAHSEE Writing: Revision Drill, Problem 4. What is the best way to revise sentence 6?

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:03

Here's your shmoop du jour... Time to pause the video and review the passage with love

00:13

What is the BEST way to revise sentence 6?

00:16

And here are the potential answers:

00:23

Okay, so this question feels that sentence 6 is in need of some TLC.

00:27

What's the best way to... deliver the lovin'? A... "Remove all the commas?"

00:34

Probably not the best idea in the world. This sentence finishes with an independent clause,

00:41

and that comma is what gives it its... independence.

00:44

Better leave 'em there. B... "Replace the comma after "critics"

00:48

with a semicolon?"

00:49

We've got a "but" after the comma...

00:52

...which means the latter part of this sentence can't stand entirely on its own. Hence no

00:56

semi-colon. C... "Replace the second instance of "presidents"

01:01

with the word "leaders?"

01:03

Well yeah, possibly... because otherwise we're using the word "presidents" twice in one sentence.

01:12

What about D... "Leave as is."

01:14

It's a close call... but getting rid of the repetition is probably worth the change.

01:19

The answer is C.

01:19

As in, "Chain of fools."

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