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Cuban Missile Crisis 2004 Views
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Description:
After the Arms Race between the U.S. and the Soviet Union, Cuba was housing a lot of the USSR's missiles. They had enough missiles to destroy most of the U.S.A. within minutes. This worried the U.S., so... well, watch the video to find out the rest.
Transcript
- 00:07
Cuban Missile Crisis, a la Boris Badenov.
- 00:14
I hope you’re here to tell me that I’m going to be put to work.
- 00:17
I’ve been hanging out on this island of Cuba for months now, poised and ready for action…
- 00:23
…and nada.
- 00:25
That’s one of the words I’ve picked up over here… “nada.”
Full Transcript
- 00:28
Yeah, so for years there’s been this big “arms race.”
- 00:32
Meaning… me.
- 00:34
Which I find hilarious. I don’t see any arms… do you?
- 00:39
Basically, the arms race comes down to the fact that my home… mother Russia…
- 00:45
…has nuclear missiles like me.
- 00:48
And Americans are wetting their diapers out of fear that I am going to be deployed.
- 00:58
Of course, America is striking back… in their own way.
- 01:02
President Kennedy has established a blockade…
- 01:05
…halting further supplies from the Soviets.
- 01:09
Never mind that this is a violation of international law…
- 01:13
…but unless the international police drive by in their cruiser and take them to lock-up…
- 01:20
… they aren’t going to back down.
- 01:22
There is no international police, so…it’s not likely.
- 01:30
President Kennedy has been stubborn on this issue, insisting that he will not remove the blockade…
- 01:37
… unless we missiles are removed from Cuba…
- 01:41
…and unfortunately it appears that he is going to be rewarded for his pigheadedness.
- 01:51
Although the Soviets are demanding that the U.S. also remove their missiles from Turkey.
- 01:57
Sounds fair in theory, I suppose…
- 02:00
although I am majorly bummed out that I won’t be “going boom.”
- 02:05
The worst part of it is that Americans are now going to look at this Kennedy goober as a tenacious hero.
- 02:12
So great. Now everyone is going to think that they can cross their arms, sit and pout…
- 02:19
…and get what they want.
- 02:22
Well, now that the nuclear arms race seems to be de-escalating, or winding down…
- 02:29
…it looks like it’s going to be even harder to find employment.
- 02:36
If you hear of anything in the job market, please let me know.
- 02:40
Keep in mind… I like to missile while I work.
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