You love mysteries. If there's a puzzle to be solved and a villain to catch, you'll be the one to do it...as long as it doesn't involve actual physical danger. No "masked vigilante" nonsense for you. 

No...you want to catch the tiniest, deadliest demons around: the ones living in each of us. You want to study chromosomes for abnormalities. You want to figure out who's likely to get diseases like breast cancer and who's not. In other words, you want to be a cytogenetic technologist.

With an average salary of just over $59,000 per year (source), cytogenetic techs are paid nicely for playing by the rules and keeping things neat and orderly. Even when they're just starting their careers, these valuable lab laborers make above the national average for all salaries, earning just over $48,000 per year (source)—with a nice benefit package to boot. 

Stick around for a few years and you'll be earning close to $75,000 per year (source). In other words, you'll never have to worry about shelling out the extra two bucks for guacamole on your burritos again. Talk about living the dream.

 

Hm...these are way too colorful. That's definitely not normal. (Source)

Cytogenetic techs are organized, rule-abiding types who always wear their gloves and goggles. All you non-neat-freaks might want to reconsider this one; cytogenetic technicians must follow strict lab protocols, because this is literally life-or-death work.

As a cytogenetic technician, your job will be to correctly order pairs of chromosomes, use sophisticated imaging equipment to take pictures of your work, and spot any abnormalities with laser-like accuracy. It's hard to believe, but the tiniest of flaws are where serious, deadly diseases set up shop. Your job is to find 'em fast so the docs can stamp 'em out. No sloppy work allowed.

 

Yeah, you can even view some using your computer nowadays...but that doesn't have to stop you from wearing an eyepatch. (Source)

Obviously, you need to be a brainy, science-y type for this job. You'll also need expert-level winking skills. Not for flirting with your slides, but for looking at them under a microscope. No worries, though, if you aren't a champion winker. Many labs use binocular microscopes. The ones that don't usually have a liberal dress code when it comes to wearing an eye patch. (Pirate accent optional.)

The non-optional part of becoming a cytogenetic technologist is getting a bachelor's degree. Some large teaching hospitals, like M.D. Anderson in Houston, Texas, and UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles, accept students into an accredited two-year program for their junior and senior years of school to study cytogenetic technology (source). 

To get into one of those programs, you'll have to hit the books and get good grades in subjects like biology, histology (that's the study of microscopic cell and tissue anatomy), and human anatomy. Once you're done with the program, you'll be qualified to sit for a certification exam. Not all states require certification, but all require some type of licensing exam in order to work as a cytogenetic technologist.

It's a hard road, but cheer up: the outlook for this career is brighter than a snowy tundra on a sunny day. Everyone in the medical field agrees that it's better to prevent disease rather than just treat it. Understanding how diseases work on a chromosomal level might be the key to finally conquering them. 

You could be part of the fight against ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) or muscular dystrophy. You might even be the one to crack them.

Solving mysteries and helping to slay genetic demons, all while keeping your lab coat snow-white? How do you do it?

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