Your older sister is an elf in Santa's Workshop. Both your parents were elves in Santa's Workshop. All of your friends are on track to do the same, most of them having already been accepted into one of the top toy-making colleges on the Pole. There's a lot of pressure on you to take life by the tiny hammer and...nail this thing.

 

Unless that talent is juggling. Santa? Yeah, hates jugglers. We know—it's the strangest thing. (Source)

The good news is that opportunities abound. There are two billion children on Earth who need toys made for them every year, and with a pretty steady turnover rate in the Workshop, there are always openings for aspiring elves to step in and try to impress the big guy. 

As someone who prides himself on discovering hidden talent, Santa is certain to at least give you a fair shake before giving you the ol' heave-ho-ho-ho.

The bad news is expectations are high. Mistakes are simply not tolerated. You have to be basically perfect—the Claus brand depends on preserving that image. 

If you find yourelf day-dreaming—maybe about that beautiful, lime green, pointy hat you saw on your bobsled ride to work that morning—and then suddenly turn out a toy truck with five wheels...you're going to be out on your diminutive derriere before close of day. And if you think you're going to find something else on the Pole that pays $35,000 per year, then you must be on a sugar high.

Sure, that may not seem like a huge salary at first, but remember: room and board are included, and the perks are amazing. We're talking all the gingerbread cookies you can eat, (nearly) every federal holiday off, and $10,000 in stocking options. (Really, the only options are to hang them from either the mantelpiece or a stair railing, but either way, you'll have $10,000 stuffed inside of it come Christmas morning.)

But what does money really matter when you consider the job you're doing? Those two billion kids are waking up bright and early on Christmas morning, rushing downstairs to take stock of their haul, and you're the reason they've got those big, goofy smiles on their faces.

 

...with the possible exception of Timmy's little brother. (Source)

Because of you, Betsy is tightly hugging that plush Disney doll she foolishly thinks came from her parents. Because of you, Timmy is pounding on his little brother with the Wiffle Ball bat you made with your own two stubby-fingered hands. Because of you, everyone everywhere is giddy, happy, and content.

Maybe the biggest reason of all to strive for a life in the 'Shop is to consider the alternatives. If you aren't making toys, what are your other options? You can probably get a part-time gig as one of Santa's "pretend" elves at the mall for the month of December, but you know your family would never let you hear the end of it. Maybe you could model for next year's line of "Elf on a Shelf," but every time you sit in one position for too long, your thighs get crampy.

Nah. It's the Workshop or bust. That's the long and short of it.

But...mostly the short of it.

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