EXT. WHITE SAND BEACH—MIDDAY:

YOU, a world famous fashion photographer, photograph an INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS MODEL who's wearing, well, not too much.

YOU: Now fling your hair. That's it! You love the camera!

INCREDIBLY GOEGEOUS MODEL: I love you! You make me even more incredibly gorgeous than I already am. How do you do it?

YOU: It's easy when you love your job.

INCREDIBILY GORGEOUS MODEL: And it's easy to love your job when you jet around the world making millions, huh?

YOU: (laughing) I guess so! I love you, Incredibly Gorgeous Model!

INCREDIBILY GORGEOUS MODEL: Not as much as I love you, World Famous Fashion Photographer.

YOU: After this, why don't we go get...wait. Did you hear that? What was that sound?

POP!

FADE OUT:

That was the sound of your bubble bursting. Whatever your dreams of being a fashion photographer might be like, odds are reality probably won't even vaguely resemble the scene above.

Sure, the Mario Testinos of the world are out there being all Mario Testino-y. They're creating alluring campaigns for the hottest brands, shooting supermodels and superstars for top magazines, and making millions of dollars while doing it. But the odds of you making it to the upper echelons are grim. Like as grim as that face your parents will make if you tell them you want to be a fashion photographer.

Here's the terrible truth: Nearly every hopeful shutterbug that tries to make a living in fashion photography ends up packing up their camera (along with their shattered dreams) and finding a career that actually pays the rent. Even for Mario Testino, it didn't come easy. There are almost always years of working for zilch, years of awful rejection, and years of wondering what in the world you were thinking when you racked up student loans to get a BFA in photography.

Still, there are a determined few who make this career work. Hardly any of them can hang with Mario, but it is possible to squeak out a living. The average salary for a fashion photographer is $59,000 a year. Not Testino money, but still not bad.

Keep in mind, that a lot of the folks who manage to make it work aren't shooting steamy covers for Vogue. They're taking pics of products for catalogues, selling stock photos to magazines, or even hanging out in the bushes as paparazzi. Hey, somebody has to take those shots of celebrities without makeup, right? The world has a right to know.

But the bottom line here is that earning a living as a fashion photographer is tough.

Still insistent on breaking in? Well let's keep going....

No one is going to slam the door in your face if you don't have an undergraduate degree in art or photography, but it still might be a good idea. With a degree under your belt, you'll get all the training you need and hopefully some contacts.

Did we say contacts? You need contacts. The fashion photography world is all about networking. You'll spend just as much time on the schmooze as you will on the shoot. If you want to swim in shark-infested waters, you better know your sharks.

If you don't get a degree, you'll definitely need to do some time assisting a professional who can show you the ropes. Of course, you're much more likely to land one of these positions if you...like...know what you're doing. You'll most likely work long hours for next to nothing, but you will get experience and hopefully make some contacts. There's that word again. Go forth and schmooze.

But schmoozing aside, your next biggest weapons will be your portfolio and your website, which have to be so mind-blowingly amazing that people can't help but hire you. No one is going to pay you for the time and energy you pour into creating these, but you absolutely have to do it if you ever want to bring in the Benjamins.

Even if you do start to get paid for your photography, your life will be as stable as a ride on a mechanical bull.

Successful fashion photographers are constantly looking for the next gig, and it takes a rare combination of skills to keep your camera flashing. Besides the whole being-a-good-artist thing, you also need serious business savvy. After all, why should people let you help market their products if you can't market yourself? You also have to know how to manage your cash. One job does not guarantee another, and you have to know how to make those dollars stretch.

For the lucky few who make the cut, a career in fashion photography can be as rewarding as it gets. There's a small shred of a chance that you could be that person of whom everybody says, "Dude, I wish I had her job." Just remember that for every one person like that, there are a thousand who say, "Isn't she a little old to be waiting tables?"

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