WANTED: U.S. persons interested in advancing U.S. interests abroad. Must be well-suited to travel, prepared to live in foreign countries for two to four years at a time, project a professional image, and have a sense of adventure. Foreign language aptitude recommended. Individuals with criminal backgrounds or those overly attached to properly functioning toilets need not apply.

Okay, so it's not an official notice from the U.S. Foreign Service, but it might as well be. Well, except for the part about toilets—you will probably have a properly functioning toilet in your personal living space. Whether or not you can find one out in town depends on which country you're assigned to as a foreign service officer. The rest of our WANTED ad is pretty much right on the money. Speaking of, as an FSO, you'll actually make quite a bit of that green stuff. Eighty-eight thousand a year on average, and it's very common to reach six figures.

A foreign service officer works for the U.S. Foreign Service, which is essentially a branch of the State Department. The USFS has been around since 1924, when the Rogers Act (or Foreign Service Act) gave the Secretary of State authority to assign diplomats overseas.

This was initially fraught with complications because, following WWI, the U.S. adopted a kind of quasi-isolationist mindset, so aside from returning war veterans, few Americans were experienced foreign travelers. The average American at the time believed well over 80% of all foreign countries were located "somewhere in Africa," and likely spoke "French or something." As you can imagine, our early diplomatic relations had kind of a slow start.

Luckily we soon gained traction and today foreign service officers can be assigned to over 260 different embassies around the world. The actual number is sort of in flux because we recently evacuated a few of our embassies in the Middle East and North Africa for reasons related to health and welfare. As in, "Dear State Department, our health and welfare will be greatly assisted by you flying us all the heck out of here before the violent radicals currently charging through the city break down the gates to our compound and throw us all in prison. Sincerely, the Embassy Staff."

Totally. (Source)

But in all seriousness, some of our embassies are in pretty tough spots. Even though they are not soldiers, many foreign service officers end up amidst the combat. Still, it's not all backwoods countries with questionable food sanitization processes and the occasional explosion. Nope, some of our FSOs have the misfortune of being assigned to really tough locations like the Bahamas, Vienna, Austria, or London. Some of our diplomats really suffer for their work.

Embassies are fascinating places. A country's embassy is considered sovereign territory of that nation. This means if you are in the U.S. embassy in Liberia, while inside those gates you're technically in the United States, laws and all. But pass through the embassy gates and you're on the streets of Monrovia. Get it?

According to the State Department, a foreign service officer's mission is to "promote peace, support prosperity, and protect American citizens while advancing the interests of the U.S. abroad." What are U.S. interests abroad, you ask? Not to put too fine a point on it, but they are whatever the heck the sitting president says they are. Really. The Secretary of State is the nation's chief diplomat, but even he or she is pretty much obligated to go along with the president's foreign policy. So if the president has a thing for pygmy hippos and decides that there should be at least one present during any official meeting abroad, those foreign service officers better find a way to get their hands on a stash of pygmy hippos—and fast.

Dealing with such ambiguity is part and parcel for a well-trained diplomat. While attempting to decipher and translate U.S. policy is a big part of the job, an FSO's primary place of duty is overseas—the Foreign Service has the word foreign in it for a reason.

One of the most toughest parts of being a foreign service officer is that so many host country personnel automatically assume you're with the CIA. It's harder to convince someone you're not a spy than you might think.

"The name's Bob. James Bob." (Source)

So, let's be clear: Foreign service officers are NOT spies. They do not work for the CIA, FBI, DIA, or anyone else in the IC (Intelligence Community). Those entities may very well have a presence in the embassy, but FSOs don’'t work for them and might never even work with them. It is very likely that you'll have some security clearance and deal with classified information as an FSO, but you are not a spy. You're a diplomat. So raise your martini glass high and toast those brave men and women in the IC, because you are darn thankful that, whoever they are, they aren't you.

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