Let's say an animal rights group decides that, this year, enough is enough and it's time to ban squirrel hunting. So they spread the word and get signatures from their friends, neighbors, and rando strangers on the street, and suddenly an enormous petition to end squirrel hunting reaches the state house. A bill based on the petition is created and it sails through both chambers. It reaches the governor's desk and he signs under enormous public pressure. It's now illegal in your state to hunt squirrels. Hooray.

So, who's going to enforce that new rule? The same people who enforce all the other rules created to protect the wild animals of America: her brave and friendly neighborhood game wardens.

While police officers protect people and property, game wardens are responsible for protecting animals. Well, not all animals; technically, your pet cat Mr. Bubbles is a piece of property, even if you're more likely to think of him as a family member. Game wardens enforce laws that govern and protect wildlife. You'll find them pretty much everywhere. They patrol day and night, arresting poachers, assisting nature scientists, and rescuing people who don't know how to use a compass.

 

Does this thing have GPS? (Source)

As a bonafide, specialized law enforcement officer, you can look forward to a decent living made off the taxpayer dime. On average, game wardens are salaried around $50,000 a year (source). When you're a brand new officer (or rabbit, as you may be called by older officers...you rabbit), you're only going to make around $30,000 a year. 

A lot of that time you'll be a normal police officer or state trooper, spending your days patrolling the streets and your nights filling out game warden applications. You start making more money the minute you hit the trail, so to speak.

If you're the type who keeps walking that trail until it ends, then you can look forward to a comfortable life working for the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, making close to six glorious figures. Who knew that (spoiler alert) you could get rich trying to bring down the guy who shot Bambi's mom?

The coolest and sweetest (cooleetest?) part of being a game warden is found right in the gosh darn name, even if that gosh darn name changes from state to state faster than you can say soda. Or pop. Or tonic. Or...Coke.

Because for game wardens, as with the endless nomenclatural battle over soft drink names, what you're called depends very much on where you live. Texas calls it a Fish & Game Warden but Pennsylvania takes out the Fish part; in California it's a Wildlife Officer, while Michigan changes Wildlife to Conservation. Okay, so in the end maybe the cooleetest part isn't so much the name as the governing idea: Animal Police.

 

Close. (Source)

So how do you know this job is right for you? Well, do you love nature and animals? If the answer is yes, you're basically there. Being a Girl or Boy Scout probably helps too, as does having grown up in a family that spent their time on hikes instead of online. You also have to be willing to allow your life to revolve around your job. You're the police, you just wear a whole lot less blue. Donut-consumption-level doesn't necessarily need to change, though.

The bottom line is, modern society has decided that animals can be protected from people, by people. The question is, are you one of those protectors?

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