Cornell University

About Me

Intro

Listen, I know what you've heard. Word on the street is that I'm super uptight. Like my engineering students might've told you, during exam time, you'll find most of my students binge-eating nachos at Bear Necessities. You just can't expect to offer top-ranked programs for engineering, hotel management, good ol' human medicine, veterinary medicine, etc. and not gain a rep as kind of a Debbie Downer.

That time Jon Stewart called my campus a "frozen hellscape" also probably didn't help.

Anyway, I'm here to tell you that I'm not all work and no play. I've got over seventy fraternity and sorority chapters, not to mention an infamously rad-and-radical art dormitory, Risley Residential College. My 17% acceptance rate aside (brush that dirt off your shoulders, kiddos), I wear many hats. I know how to bro it up—er, I mean, live it up—and art it up.

Also, here's something you might not have heard: I was one of the first Northeastern Universities that was not founded under the auspices of any particular church or religion. So we once had a reputation as the "heathens on the hill." Yep, you read that right. (And boy, is it hilly up here.)

Store that little factoid away for your first on-campus party, and you'll be sure to impress.

Name

Da Big Red Bear

Hometown

Just go to the hilliest, coldest location you can find in Western New York. You will be near wineries, but not so close to them as to be within a convenient travel distance…even if you are old enough to drink. Okay, fine, we'll help you out a bit more: that's Ithaca, New York. You know, the one with all the gorges.

Birthdate

1865

Body Type

Hefty but hot. IMO, the kind that packs a real punch, of both the intellectual and ice hockey team varieties.

Fine, fine, I'll tell it to you straight: I've got about 14,000 undergraduates and about half that many grad students. (You can pick your jaw up off the floor now.)

I do not recommend coming my way if you're afraid of crowds, but I'm good about keeping class sizes small. Many of my majors are keepin' it cozy.

Plus, to be honest, Ithaca's so cold you'll barely see half of your colleagues for the months of December–March. Then, April will roll around and you'll be all, "Hey, when did so many students enroll at Cornell?"

Current Living Situation

Like most schools, you've basically got to live on campus your first year here. Luckily, there are a range of dorms with all kinds of options for your preferred roomie situation (Double? Single? All of the people?), architecture aesthetic, and so on.

After that, most people live in frats, sororities, or downtown. And what a lovely downtown it is.

You can choose to stay close to campus and live in Collegetown, where the late-night dining options are many and the ease of access to your classes will keep you smiling through the cold months. Or you can strike out on your own and live near the Commons—that really real area of Ithaca where the locals live, too. It's full of enough head shops to make any good hippie's heart happy.

Relationship Status

My arch nemesis is Dartmouth's officially amorphous Big Green, and/or unofficial mascot, Keggy the Keg. Yeah, we don't get along too well, probably because that school's like the size of my high school and people dare to think the weather is bad up there. Even worse, though, are those Harvard boys and girls.

I'm pretty into a cappella, and one of our biggest a cappella groups (the Cayuga Waiters) has a fight song called, "We Didn't Go To Harvard." It's set to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire," and here's a choice snippet:

We didn't go to Harvard; but upon reflection, it's cause we have no connections. We didn't go to Harvard; no we're not that cocky and they can't play hockey.

Yep. Harvard-schmarvard.

Politics

Pretty left-leaning for a large, Ivy League university. We even have an adult relations column in The Cornell Daily Sun. But make no mistake—our conservative cohort's pretty active, too.

You should apply to me if...

as brilliant as you are, you're still not convinced that a negative ten-degree wind chill is even that cold. Or you're good at ice hockey, in which case, um, duh, there is no other choice for you.