First of all, it’s spelled B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Second, if you have racked up too many moving violations or traffic convictions, your license will either be suspended or revoked by the DOT. You can apply for a new license at the end of this period, and hopefully you’ve changed your ways by then. Oh, sure, it starts with a few minor traffic violations here and there, but before you know it you’ll be committing grand larceny, bank fraud, and/or treason. We just don’t want to start seeing your name in the paper. Unless it’s for inventing some useful electronic gadget, or winning a peace prize. That would be pretty cool.

Hawaii no longer uses the negligent driver points system that it used to and that many other states utilize. However, that does not mean that you can go around crashing into whatever you like and ignoring the laws for driving near a stopped school bus. You can still be fined or have your license suspended or revoked, so keep it together, kid.

Like a Vandal in the Wind

If you absolutely must destroy something, either break a pencil or beat up on your pillow. It’s far too costly to be caught doing anything worse, such as spray-painting graffiti onto the side of a bridge or keying your ex-boyfriend’s Mustang. If already licensed, you can lose your license for a couple years; if you’re not there yet, you can have the issuance of your license delayed for several years. And you’re going to need your license, because it sounds like you’ll have to be doing a lot of running from the authorities.

If you are convicted of injuring another person while engaging in a speed contest or otherwise driving recklessly (such as driving on two wheels along the edge of the roof of a high-rise apartment building), you can be imprisoned and fined heavily. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you are in control of a large, dangerous weapon. Keep it in the holster there, Pardner.