Pay attention: you should not use your cell phone while driving.

One more time: YOU SHOULD NOT USE YOUR CELL WHILE DRIVING. While it isn’t technically illegal—yet—to use your cell phone while driving in the state of New Mexico, Shmoop HIGHLY discourages that type of activity.

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If you want to gab with Betty Sue (man, what decade do we think it is?), have Mom drive and you sit in the passenger seat. If you’re not driving, gab away all you want. Text. Sext. Shmext. Whatever. But talking on a cell is strictly gauche.

And again, think about what happens statistically: you are 2-3x more likely to hit some innocent person on the road if you are talking on your cell while you’re driving. How fair is that to that innocent person? Why is your setting up a date with Harry more important than Aunt Shari’s health and that of the baby she is carrying in her stomach? Oh, Aunt Shari had her baby? Congratulations! We should send a card…

Exceptions: some medical emergency or you’re calling the cops on someone or some other obvious “don’t think we are complete idiots” kind of exception. See a fire or an explosion? Call the fire department. Duh.

ATTENTION TEENAGERS: If you have your Learner’s Permit or Provisional License, it IS illegal for you to use a cell phone while driving. Keep your hands on the wheel and off the phone, and you might just live long enough to be able to text your friends about how cool it is to finally have an unrestricted license.