First of all, it’s spelled B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Second, if you have racked up too many negligent driver points, your license will either be suspended or revoked by the MVD. You can apply for a new license at the end of this period, and hopefully you’ve changed your ways by then. Oh, sure, it starts with a few minor traffic violations here and there, but before you know it you’ll be committing grand larceny, bank fraud, and/or treason. We just don’t want to start seeing your name in the paper. Unless it’s for inventing some useful electronic gadget, or winning a peace prize. That would be pretty cool.

Your license can be suspended for one year if you accumulate 12 points within a 12-month period. If you can put up 30 points in 42 minutes, you’ll probably make tonight’s highlight reel on ESPN.

Like a Vandal in the Wind

If you absolutely must destroy something, either break a pencil or beat up on your pillow. It’s far too costly to be caught doing anything worse, such as spray-painting graffiti onto the side of a bridge or keying your ex-boyfriend’s Mustang. If already licensed, you can lose your license for a couple years; if you’re not there yet, you can have the issuance of your license delayed for several years. And you’re going to need your license, because it sounds like you’ll have to be doing a lot of running from the authorities.

Here are a few examples of what can get you points on your driving record:

2-pointers

• Failure to use a seat belt
• Failure to restrain a child passenger properly
• Failure to signal

3-pointers

• Careless driving
• Passing where prohibited
• Speeding 6-15mph over the posted speed limit
• Following too closely
• Any shot made from beyond the 3-point arc

4-pointers

• Failure to yield right of way to an authorized emergency vehicle

5-pointers

• Speeding 16-25mph over the posted speed limit

6-pointers

• Reckless driving
• Passing a school bus that is taking on or discharging passengers or displaying a warning not to pass
• Racing

8-pointers
• Speeding 26mph or more over the posted speed limit