First of all, it’s spelled B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Second, if you have racked up too many negligent driver points, your license will either be suspended or revoked by the DMV. You can apply for a new license at the end of this period, and hopefully you’ve changed your ways by then. Oh, sure, it starts with a few minor traffic violations here and there, but before you know it you’ll be committing grand larceny, bank fraud, and/or treason. We just don’t want to start seeing your name in the paper. Unless it’s for inventing some useful electronic gadget, or winning a peace prize. That would be pretty cool.

Your license can be suspended if you accumulate three speeding violations or 11 points within an 18-month period. If you can put up 30 points in 42 minutes, you’ll probably make tonight’s highlight reel on ESPN.

 Like a Vandal in the Wind

If you absolutely must destroy something, either break a pencil or beat up on your pillow. It’s far too costly to be caught doing anything worse, such as spray-painting graffiti onto the side of a bridge or keying your ex-boyfriend’s Mustang. If already licensed, you can lose your license for a couple years; if you’re not there yet, you can have the issuance of your license delayed for several years. And you’re going to need your license, because it sounds like you’ll have to be doing a lot of running from the authorities.

Here are a few examples of what can get you points on your driving record:

 2-pointers

• Inadequate brakes (vehicle of an employer)

• Minor moving violations

3-pointers

• Unlawful speed of 1-10mphover the posted speed limit

• Improper cell phone use, including texting

• Railroad crossing violation

• Passing improperly, changing lanes unsafely, driving to the left of center, or driving in the wrong direction • Failure to obey a traffic signal, stop sign, or yield sign

• Failure to yield the right-of-way

• Leaving the scene of an accident that involves property damage or injury to a domestic animal

• Passenger safety violations

• Any shot made from beyond the 3-point arc

4-pointers

• Following too closely

• Unlawful speed of 11-20mph over the posted speed limit

• Inadequate brakes

5-pointers

• Reckless driving

• Failure to stop for a school bus

• Rear-ending someone important, like Derek Jeter

6-pointers

• Unlawful speed of 21-30mph over the posted speed limit

8-pointers

• Unlawful speed of 31-40mph over the posted speed limit

11-pointers

• Unlawful speed of 40mph or more over the posted speed limit