First of all, it’s spelled B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Second, if you have racked up too many negligent driver points, your license will either be suspended or revoked by the DMV. You can apply for a new license at the end of this period, and hopefully you’ve changed your ways by then. Oh, sure, it starts with a few minor traffic violations here and there, but before you know it you’ll be committing grand larceny, bank fraud, and/or treason. We just don’t want to start seeing your name in the paper. Unless it’s for inventing some useful electronic gadget, or winning a peace prize. That would be pretty cool.

When you rack up too many points on your license, your license gets suspended for up to either 60 days, six months, or one year depending on the number of offenses you’ve committed. Your license will be suspended if you accumulate 15 points in any 12 consecutive months or 22 points in any 24 consecutive months. If you can put up 30 points in 42 minutes, you’ll probably make tonight’s highlight reel on ESPN.

Like a Vandal in the Wind

If you absolutely must destroy something, either break a pencil or beat up on your pillow. It’s far too costly to be caught doing anything worse, such as spray-painting graffiti onto the side of a bridge or keying your ex-boyfriend’s Mustang. If already licensed, you can lose your license for a couple years; if you’re not there yet, you can have the issuance of your license delayed for several years. And you’re going to need your license, because it sounds like you’ll have to be doing a lot of running from the authorities.

Here are a few examples of what can get you points on your driving record:

2-pointers

• Minor moving violations

3-pointers

• Stop sign/light violations
• Any shot made from beyond the 3-point arc

4-pointers

• Driving on the wrong side of the road
• Improper passing
• Failure to yield right of way

6-pointers

• Drag racing
• Eluding or attempting to elude a police officer

8-pointers

• Reckless driving

10-pointers

• Driving while intoxicated