Proxy Directive
Categories: Ethics/Morals
You really shouldn't have been texting and driving. Luckily, all you hit was Norman-the-tree. You scraped a bit of bark off of his 704-year-old trunk, but that was about all the damage you did.
To your Prius and to your body, uh, different story. Now you lay there as a vegetable in the hospital, spine broken in 8 places, blind, deaf, mute. You'll never change. This is who you'll be for the rest of your life. "Luckily" for you, you have a proxy directive, such that were you ever to find yourself in this situation, your favorite niece would drive you directly to Oregon, where they...take care of things like this. You can a) go hang gliding, b) go scuba diving, or c) lay in a vat of nitrous for an hour or so until you are no more. Your proxy directive chose Door C, and the existing-but-not-former-texter-and-driver you is carted off to Portland (which has the most liberal euthanasia laws in the country) to check in on The Great Emoji Beyond.
