About Me

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Intro

Let's get one thing straight: Yes, I'm a small, private school nestled in the Silicon Valley with an awesome athletics program, a diverse student body, and a top-notch business school. But no, I'm not Stanford.

I'm like Stanford's younger, chiller cousin—I have fewer students hanging around and like to keep things more low-key.

Except when it comes to sports, of course. Not to brag, but I'm athletic. Like, really athletic. Over half of my students play on one of my fourteen sports teams. I know schools more than double my size that don't offer as many teams as I do. Let me put it this way: If I were one of the Spice Girls, I'd definitely be Sporty Spice. No question about it.

But don't blink while driving by or you just might miss me. My campus only takes up forty-five acres, and I've got 750 students. Total. Even if half of my students all enrolled in the same intro to chemistry class, it would still be more sparsely attended than some classes at Berkeley.

Being petite pays, IMO. My students have awesome opportunities to form close relationships with their professors, and you'll know pretty much everyone on campus by the end of your freshman year. That's a lot better than being lost in a sea of nameless faces.

If you're into the idea of a close-knit college experience where working out is more common than raging until the sun comes up, check me out. I'll have you whipped into shape and running around on a court/field faster than you can say "Hey, I came here to learn. Please stop forcing me to play sports. Please."

Not that anyone here has actually ever said that.

Name

The Menlo Oaks. My mascot? Oakie the Acorn.

Hometown

Atherton, CA. Sure, it's small and quiet, but you'll be rubbing elbows with some of Silicon Valley's richest and most powerful. Maybe you'll even absorb some of their elbow grease—the source of their hard work and determination.

Birthdate

1927

Body Type

I'm athletic, petite, loud, and motivated. My student athletes help keep me in shape, and my forty-five acre campus can only fit so many people. But who says small is boring? I have one of the most spirited and supportive student bodies this side of the Rockies. Just come to one of my games and you'll see how crazy everyone goes for Oakie the Acorn.

Plus, my size means that students get lots of one-on-one attention from professors. It's amazing how well watchful eyes can keep them focused in class…and graduating on time. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late to spin class.

Current Living Situation

Okay, here's the thing: Atherton—my surrounding city—is the second richest town in the United States. Have you even heard of Atherton? While it certainly doesn't have the same glamorous rep as Beverly Hills or Manhattan's Upper East Side, it's definitely a nice place to live…if you're rich. As you might imagine, rent in Atherton is through the roof, especially for college students with little to no income.

Luckily, I have enough on-campus housing to cover more than half of the student body. Living on campus is convenient, my dorms are pretty nice, and, best of all, you have access to the Caf (that's what we call the Cafeteria around these here parts). Living on campus is a surefire way to get to know literally everyone.

Most upperclassmen choose to live off campus, often with teammates if they play a sport. Since rents in Atherton, Menlo Park, and nearby Palo Alto are so high, you'll probably have to live in East Palo Alto or Redwood City. Even then, you will very likely be paying rent as high as your parent's mortgage to split a three-bedroom apartment between six people. But hey, it's college—it only lasts a couple years.

Relationship Status

I get along with pretty much everyone. Thanks to my super spirited students, though, some of my games can get pretty crazy. My rivals change with each sport, but things get especially heated when we play against the notorious Embry Riddle Aeronautical University, UC Merced, and Loyola Marymount University.

Politics

I have a pretty diverse student body, so I don't really lean one way politically. Most of my students study business, so if they do care about politics, their interests somehow involves business.

You should apply to me if...

you want to be on a first name basis with your entire campus, play sports, and get down to business.

Website

http://www.menlo.edu/