Centaurs
Centaurs
The centaurs are total animals. Actually, scratch that. Really, they're just half animals, with the lower body of a horse and the upper body of a man. But even with their manly torsos, they mostly act like wild animals. The most famous tribe of these horse-men lives on Mt. Pelion in Thessaly, where they spend most of their time galloping around, swilling wine, swiping women, and hitting things with rocks. Yeah, they're not the brainiest bunch.
Note: Chiron, the gentle centaur and teacher of the stars, was totally different from his wild cousins. Don't forget it.
Basic Information
| Name | Centaurs |
| Nickname | Famous centaurs: Eurytion (who started a war by trying to snatch his half-brother's bride) Nessus (who caused the death of Heracles) Pholus (who got into trouble for giving Heracles too much wine) Chiron (the gentle teacher) |
| Sex | Mostly males (some females called centaurides) |
| Current city | The woods |
Work & Education
| Occupation | Happily unemployed |
| Education | Chiron's School of Etiquette (drop-outs, obviously) |
Beliefs
| Political views | Pro-Zeus |
Family & Friends (& Enemies)
| Parents | Ixion (Dad) Nephele (Mom) |
| Siblings | Bunches |
| Children | Um, yeah, all over the place |
| Friends | The Satyrs Dionysus |
| Enemies | Pirithous (the king who practically annihilated us) Theseus (who helped Pirithous) Atalanta (who also helped Pirithous) Heracles (who killed a bunch of us too) |
Relationships
| Relationship status | Looking for love |
| Interested in | Centaurides (girl centaurs) Nymphs (all kinds) Human maidens |
Favorites
| Quotations | "In Wildness is the preservation of the world." – Henry David Thoreau "Don't approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a fool from any side." – Yiddish Proverb "Man is the cruelest animal." – Friedrich Nietzsche "We don't need no education." – Pink Floyd "I like girls that drink beer." – Toby Keith |
| Books | The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis (Lewis really gets how awesome we are) All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy Paul Revere's Ride by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (Cool poem, but how come nobody knows the name of Paul's horse?) Lord of the Flies by William Golding (Hmmm, guess humans can get pretty brutal, too.) The Call of the Wild by Jack London Animal Farm by George Orwell (Boxer is the man. Well, the horse. Well, he'd be better if he was a man-horse... whatever, we like him.) The Red Pony by John Steinbeck Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift (We're all about the smart horses of Houyhnhnm Land—even if they are a little stuck up.) The Bacchae by Euripides (Dionysus really knows how to let his hair down.) Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut (We cry with Billy Pilgrim when he sees the suffering horses in Dresden.) |
| Music | Down on the Street by the Stooges (Iggy, you rock our faces off.) Blitzkrieg Bop by the Ramones (We miss you, Joey Ramone!) Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd (Yeah, we're country boys at heart.) Paper Planes by M.I.A. Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses Nights of Wine and Roses by Japandroids (The new stuff we're rocking out to.) Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2 by Pink Floyd (Education? What's that?) |
| Movies | Die Hard The Hangover Deliverance Fantasia (Some of the hottest centaur ladies you'll ever see.) Black Beauty The Bourne Identity (Really, all the Bourne movies—he just kicks butt.) All the Pretty Horses The Black Stallion |
| TV Shows | Hell on Wheels Sons of Anarchy Mr. Ed |
Activities & Interests
| Likes | Burning Man Oktoberfest Rodeos Westerns |
| Activities | Drinking Chasing girls, nymphs, centaurides, and fillies Hitting people with rocks and clubs |
| Interests | Oenology The study of ladies (oh yeah) |
| Groups | The Society for Half-Animal Rights Party Animals Horse Lovers The Coalition for Centaur Rights |