- So, things are gonna go down in Salucia.
- Wait, where's Salucia? It's in the western part of Italy, at the foot of Mt. Vesulus, on a prosperous plain. It's got some towers and towns,and it's totally got some other delightful things, too. In Italian, this place is called Saluzzo.
- The lord of Salucia is called a marquis. It's a hereditary gig.
- All the marquis's lieges (the people he rules) are obedient to him.
- The marquis's name is Walter. He lives a very happy life. He's loved and respected by his lords and people.
- Walter is descended from the highest nobility of Lombardy.
- Walter is handsome, strong, and young. He's a good leader for his country, but...
- Walter's got a few issues. He doesn't think about what will happen in the future but spends all his time thinking about how to live it up in the present. He just goes hunting and hawking everywhere like he just don't care.
- Worst of all, Walter won't get married.
- One day, Walter's lieges go together in a group to speak with him.
- The wisest man—or at least the one Walter is most likely to listen to—is going to tell Walter about the people's grievance. Here's what he says:
- "Noble dude, you're pretty chill, so we're down with telling you what's going on with us. We're being real with you, so don't get mad at us.
- "Now, I've got nothing more to do with this complaint than the next guy; it's just that you've always been good to me, so I'm the one who's gonna talk.
- "Man, we're so totally into you. I mean, seriously, we couldn't be happier... er, well, actually, we could be a little happier if, you know, you got yourself hitched.
- "Come on, man. Everybody does it. Time flies; it's not going to sit around and wait for you. Think about the future.
- "You're young now, but you won't be forever. I can already see those crow's feet forming when you laugh. We've all got to die someday, am I right?
- "You know I'm right.
- "You know what else? We never know when death is going to creep in and snatch us.
- "Trust us. We're being straight with you. We've never refused you anything. Come on, dude. Let us choose you a noble wife who will honor you and God.
- "We don't want to nag you, bro, but we're totally worried about your future. Like, what happens if you die without having a kid?There won't be any Walter Jr. to take your throne. That would make us so sad.
- "Therefore, please marry quickly."
- The men's humble prayer and earnest expressions cause Walter to take pity on them. So Walter's all like:
- "Never thought I'd do it, guys, but I trust your advice, as I've always done.
- "I mean, the bachelor's life is the life, you know? I've got freedom to do what I want, when I want. Marriage just seems like a prison.
- "Still, I'm sure you guys are right, so, of my own freewill, I agree to get married as soon as possible.
- "But dudes, let me choose my own noble wife.
- "True goodness comes from God, not from your lineage. Lots of good people have nasty kids, and vice versa, right?
- "I trust in God's goodness, so I'll leave the fate of my estate and future happiness in his hands.
- "Let me choose my wife myself, and promise that you'll honor her as long as she lives. Swear on our brohood that you'll treat her like an emperor's daughter, and that you'll never gripe about my choice.
- "Since I'm giving up my freedom at your request, I'll marry the one I want.
- "Those are the conditions, guys: it's my way or the highway."
- The guys agree to these conditions.
- They ask Walter for a save-the-date, saying they want the wedding to be as soon as possible. They're still a little afraid Walter won't marry.
- Walter tells them the day on which he will marry, saying he does this all at their request.
- The guys humbly kneel and thank him. This is the end of their mission, and they return to their homes.
- Walter commands his servants to prepare a feast.