Crank Chapters 191-200 Summary

Chapter 191: Not a Blink of Remorse

The ride home is agonizingly silent. Kristina looks at Brendan and notices all kinds of flaws she didn't realize were there—he's not so perfect anymore in more ways than one.
When he finally speaks, he tells her that if he had known she would just lie there, he wouldn't have even bothered with her. Yikes.

Kristina describes her emotions by asking us readers if we have ever been so overwhelmed and angry with our thoughts that we couldn't speak.
She tries to find some words to say in response to Brendan's sharp remark, but can't think of a thing.

Brendan drops Kristina off at her house, throws the eight-ball she ordered at her, and demands that she give him the money. In spite of everything, Kristina pays up.

Desperate to rid herself of every trace of Brendan, but afraid to draw attention to herself by running for the shower, Kristina opts for the hot tub. She stays in the water until she feels the chemicals peel her skin.
On her way up to her room, she wonders if she'll ever feel totally normal again.

Too high to sleep, Kristina writes Adam a sarcastic letter where she calls her dad names, calls Adam a "regular well of information" that's always bad, asks him if he and Giselle have had sex yet, and tells him she has two boyfriends—one who isn't looking out for her and another who just raped her.

Kristina knows the letter was a deliberate attempt to take her feelings out on someone and isn't surprised when it doesn't make her feel better.
The truth is, she knows only one thing can make her feel better. She opens the drugs Brendan gave her.

The bindle is almost gone. Kristina figures that because there's no way they used it all up, though, so Brendan must have shorted her.
With hardly any of the drug left, Kristina decides she has to conserve it in order to balance her double life as an A-student and an addict. Without the drug, she won't be able to do it.
Sensing that Kristina is growing weak, she calls on Bree to take over.

Kristina's mind is out of control and she's unable to sleep. She can't stop thinking about what she's done to herself, and more so, what she's allowed Brendan to do. She can't believe she allowed him to get the best of her.
(Hey there, Shmoopers—just a friendly PSA to say that rape is never the victim's fault, no matter what the circumstances surrounding it are.)

The horror of the evening's events replay in her mind all night until the house comes alive the next morning.
Kristina gets up, gets dressed, and goes downstairs to have coffee and lie to her parents about how great her date was.

Kristina tells her mom she's too tired from her date to go to Jake's soccer game. Once the rest of the family is gone, she calls Chase and asks him to come over.
When he gets there, it takes exactly one look at Kristina to tell there's something wrong—and it's more than just being on drugs.
Kristina tells him the whole story of what happened last night and Chase gets indignant, saying he'll "kill" Brendan.
Chase holds Kristina and cries with her, telling her he's sorry he wasn't there for her and that it wasn't her fault.