Enter Valentine, Sylvia, Thurio, and Speed. SYLVIA Servant! VALENTINE Mistress? SPEED Master, Sir Thurio frowns on you. VALENTINE Ay, boy, it’s for love. SPEED Not of you. 5 VALENTINE Of my mistress, then. SPEED ’Twere good you knocked him. SYLVIA, to Valentine Servant, you are sad. VALENTINE Indeed, madam, I seem so. THURIO Seem you that you are not? 10 VALENTINE Haply I do. THURIO So do counterfeits. VALENTINE So do you. THURIO What seem I that I am not? VALENTINE Wise. 15 THURIO What instance of the contrary? VALENTINE Your folly. THURIO And how quote you my folly? VALENTINE I quote it in your jerkin. THURIO My “jerkin” is a doublet. 20 VALENTINE Well, then, I’ll double your folly. THURIO How! SYLVIA What, angry, Sir Thurio? Do you change color? VALENTINE Give him leave, madam. He is a kind of
chameleon. 25 THURIO That hath more mind to feed on your blood
than live in your air. VALENTINE You have said, sir. THURIO Ay, sir, and done too for this time. VALENTINE I know it well, sir. You always end ere you 30
begin. SYLVIA A fine volley of words, gentlemen, and quickly
shot off. VALENTINE ’Tis indeed, madam. We thank the giver. SYLVIA Who is that, servant? 35 VALENTINE Yourself, sweet lady, for you gave the fire.
Sir Thurio borrows his wit from your Ladyship’s
looks and spends what he borrows kindly in your
company. THURIO Sir, if you spend word for word with me, I shall 40
make your wit bankrupt. VALENTINE I know it well, sir. You have an exchequer
of words and, I think, no other treasure to give your
followers, for it appears by their bare liveries that
they live by your bare words. 45 SYLVIA
No more, gentlemen, no more. Here comes my
father. | At the Duke's court in Milan, Sylvia and Valentine are busy flirting like two "courtly lovers." Meanwhile, a guy named Thurio sneers at the happy twosome. Speed notices that Thurio is jealous, so he does what all of Shakespeare's clownish servants do best—he starts trouble. Before we know it, Thurio and Valentine are insulting each other. At one point, Sylvia chimes in that Thurio's face is turning red, but finally she tires of the silly quarrel and tells the guys to knock it off because her dad's coming. |
Enter Duke. DUKE
Now, daughter Sylvia, you are hard beset.—
Sir Valentine, your father is in good health.
What say you to a letter from your friends 50
Of much good news? VALENTINE My lord, I will be thankful
To any happy messenger from thence. DUKE
Know you Don Antonio, your countryman? VALENTINE
Ay, my good lord, I know the gentleman 55
To be of worth and worthy estimation,
And not without desert so well reputed. DUKE Hath he not a son? VALENTINE
Ay, my good lord, a son that well deserves
The honor and regard of such a father. 60 DUKE You know him well? VALENTINE
I knew him as myself, for from our infancy
We have conversed and spent our hours together,
And though myself have been an idle truant,
Omitting the sweet benefit of time 65
To clothe mine age with angel-like perfection,
Yet hath Sir Proteus—for that’s his name—
Made use and fair advantage of his days:
His years but young, but his experience old;
His head unmellowed, but his judgment ripe; 70
And in a word—for far behind his worth
Comes all the praises that I now bestow—
He is complete in feature and in mind,
With all good grace to grace a gentleman. DUKE
Beshrew me, sir, but if he make this good, 75
He is as worthy for an empress’ love,
As meet to be an emperor’s counselor.
Well, sir, this gentleman is come to me
With commendation from great potentates,
And here he means to spend his time awhile. 80
I think ’tis no unwelcome news to you. VALENTINE
Should I have wished a thing, it had been he. DUKE
Welcome him then according to his worth.
Sylvia, I speak to you—and you, Sir Thurio.
For Valentine, I need not cite him to it. 85
I will send him hither to you presently. Duke exits. VALENTINE
This is the gentleman I told your Ladyship
Had come along with me but that his mistress
Did hold his eyes locked in her crystal looks. SYLVIA
Belike that now she hath enfranchised them 90
Upon some other pawn for fealty. VALENTINE
Nay, sure, I think she holds them prisoners still. SYLVIA
Nay, then, he should be blind, and being blind
How could he see his way to seek out you? VALENTINE
Why, lady, love hath twenty pair of eyes. 95 THURIO
They say that Love hath not an eye at all. VALENTINE
To see such lovers, Thurio, as yourself.
Upon a homely object, Love can wink. SYLVIA
Have done, have done. Here comes the gentleman. Enter Proteus. VALENTINE
Welcome, dear Proteus.—Mistress, I beseech you 100
Confirm his welcome with some special favor. SYLVIA
His worth is warrant for his welcome hither,
If this be he you oft have wished to hear from. VALENTINE
Mistress, it is. Sweet lady, entertain him
To be my fellow-servant to your Ladyship. 105 SYLVIA
Too low a mistress for so high a servant. PROTEUS
Not so, sweet lady, but too mean a servant
To have a look of such a worthy mistress. VALENTINE
Leave off discourse of disability.
Sweet lady, entertain him for your servant. 110 PROTEUS
My duty will I boast of, nothing else. SYLVIA
And duty never yet did want his meed.
Servant, you are welcome to a worthless mistress. PROTEUS
I’ll die on him that says so but yourself. SYLVIA That you are welcome? 115 PROTEUS That you are worthless. Enter Servant. SERVANT
Madam, my lord your father would speak with you. SYLVIA
I wait upon his pleasure. Servant exits. Come, Sir
Thurio,
Go with me.—Once more, new servant, welcome. 120
I’ll leave you to confer of home affairs.
When you have done, we look to hear from you. PROTEUS
We’ll both attend upon your Ladyship. Sylvia and Thurio exit. | The Duke, enters. He chats it up with Valentine and steers the conversation toward Valentine's BFF, Proteus. Valentine gushes over his bosom buddy like a giddy school boy. The Duke says it's great that Valentine is so crazy about him because Proteus is on his way here right now. Valentine is thrilled and tells Silvia what an awesome guy Proteus is. He also explains that Proteus would have come earlier but he stayed behind for a girl. Silvia says that the girl must not have much of a hold on him anymore, but Valentine disagrees. He thinks Proteus is probably still in love with her. Well then why is he coming here to see you? wonders Sylvia. Proteus enters the room and gets a warm welcome from Sylvia and Valentine. Sylvia's dad wants to talk to her and Thurio, so Sylvia leaves Proteus and Valentine to catch up. |
VALENTINE
Now tell me, how do all from whence you came? PROTEUS
Your friends are well and have them much 125
commended. VALENTINE
And how do yours? PROTEUS I left them all in health. VALENTINE
How does your lady? And how thrives your love? PROTEUS
My tales of love were wont to weary you. 130
I know you joy not in a love discourse. VALENTINE
Ay, Proteus, but that life is altered now.
I have done penance for contemning Love,
Whose high imperious thoughts have punished me
With bitter fasts, with penitential groans, 135
With nightly tears, and daily heartsore sighs,
For in revenge of my contempt of love,
Love hath chased sleep from my enthrallèd eyes
And made them watchers of mine own heart’s
sorrow. 140
O gentle Proteus, Love’s a mighty lord
And hath so humbled me as I confess
There is no woe to his correction,
Nor, to his service, no such joy on Earth.
Now, no discourse except it be of love. 145
Now can I break my fast, dine, sup, and sleep
Upon the very naked name of Love. PROTEUS
Enough; I read your fortune in your eye.
Was this the idol that you worship so? VALENTINE
Even she. And is she not a heavenly saint? 150 PROTEUS
No, but she is an earthly paragon. VALENTINE
Call her divine. PROTEUS I will not flatter her. VALENTINE
O, flatter me, for love delights in praises. PROTEUS
When I was sick, you gave me bitter pills, 155
And I must minister the like to you. VALENTINE
Then speak the truth by her; if not divine,
Yet let her be a principality,
Sovereign to all the creatures on the Earth. PROTEUS
Except my mistress. 160 VALENTINE Sweet, except not any,
Except thou wilt except against my love. PROTEUS
Have I not reason to prefer mine own? VALENTINE
And I will help thee to prefer her too:
She shall be dignified with this high honor— 165
To bear my lady’s train, lest the base earth
Should from her vesture chance to steal a kiss
And, of so great a favor growing proud,
Disdain to root the summer-swelling flower
And make rough winter everlastingly. 170 PROTEUS
Why, Valentine, what braggartism is this? VALENTINE
Pardon me, Proteus, all I can is nothing
To her whose worth makes other worthies
nothing.
She is alone— 175 PROTEUS Then let her alone. VALENTINE
Not for the world! Why, man, she is mine own,
And I as rich in having such a jewel
As twenty seas if all their sand were pearl,
The water nectar, and the rocks pure gold. 180
Forgive me that I do not dream on thee,
Because thou seest me dote upon my love.
My foolish rival, that her father likes
Only for his possessions are so huge,
Is gone with her along, and I must after, 185
For love, thou know’st, is full of jealousy. PROTEUS But she loves you? VALENTINE
Ay, and we are betrothed; nay more, our marriage
hour,
With all the cunning manner of our flight 190
Determined of: how I must climb her window,
The ladder made of cords, and all the means
Plotted and ’greed on for my happiness.
Good Proteus, go with me to my chamber,
In these affairs to aid me with thy counsel. 195 PROTEUS
Go on before. I shall inquire you forth.
I must unto the road to disembark
Some necessaries that I needs must use,
And then I’ll presently attend you. | Valentine asks Proteus how everyone at home is, and Proteus says they're fine. Then he asks about Proteus's girlfriend, and Proteus says they don't need to talk about that. He know that talking about love puts Valentine in a bad mood. Not anymore! Valentine confesses that he's in love with Sylvia and tries to get Proteus to praise her. Proteus says, "No way man. Remember how rude you were when I told you about Julia?" Valentine isn't deterred. He keeps trying to get Proteus to says that Silvia is better than Julia, but Proteus won't play. Finally, Valentine confides that he and Sylvia are going to be married...in an hour. They're eloping! Valentine plans to climb a ladder up to Sylvia's window so they can run off together, and he asks for Proteus's help with his scheme. Proteus tells Valentine to go ahead to his room. Proteus will join him in a minute. |
VALENTINE Will you make haste? 200 PROTEUS I will. Valentine and Speed exit.
Even as one heat another heat expels,
Or as one nail by strength drives out another,
So the remembrance of my former love
Is by a newer object quite forgotten. 205
Is it mine eye, or Valentine’s praise,
Her true perfection, or my false transgression,
That makes me reasonless to reason thus?
She is fair, and so is Julia that I love—
That I did love, for now my love is thawed, 210
Which like a waxen image ’gainst a fire
Bears no impression of the thing it was.
Methinks my zeal to Valentine is cold,
And that I love him not as I was wont.
O, but I love his lady too too much, 215
And that’s the reason I love him so little.
How shall I dote on her with more advice
That thus without advice begin to love her?
’Tis but her picture I have yet beheld,
And that hath dazzled my reason’s light; 220
But when I look on her perfections,
There is no reason but I shall be blind.
If I can check my erring love, I will;
If not, to compass her I’ll use my skill. He exits. | Valentine tells Proteus to hurry up, then exits. Once he's alone, Proteus talks about how he has fallen in love with Sylvia. (Julia who?) He's a bit torn because he knows his love for a woman will interfere with his bromance with Valentine, in fact, he's already noticed that he doesn't seem as excited to hang with Valentine as usual. And it's because he's infatuated with Sylvia. He decides he'll try to squash his feelings for Sylvia, but if he can't...he'll put his skills to work to win her. |