Character Analysis
Anterrabae
You know that one friend who's a bad influence, but you kind of love 'em anyway? That's Anterrabae.
Deborah refers to Anterrabae as the "falling god" of Yr. He almost always appears to be on fire. When Deborah was younger, he would run and play with her on the plains of Yr. He gets more menacing and punishing as she gets older and cuts herself off more and more from Earth.
In the end, Deborah realizes that she modeled Anterrabae in her imagination on a picture of Satan she saw in an old edition of John Milton's Paradise Lost. Realizing that she created him herself helps her let go of his power over her.
The Censor
This god is in charge of the flow of information between Earth and Yr. He judges whether or not something is a threat to Deborah. He also judges Deborah's own behavior.
Yeah, his judgy attitude is sometimes too much for Deborah to take.
The Censor's other annoying habit is reinforcing the negative ideas Deborah formed about herself in early childhood. And she had a lot to trigger those negative ideas: the self-loathing she absorbed from her grandfather and her father, the doctors who lied about her tumor, the anti-Semites at camp—you name it.
The Censor started off as a protector, but the older Deborah gets, the more punishing the Censor becomes.
The Collect
This group lives on the edge of Yr. Collectively, it's the culmination of all the negative voices of Deborah friends and family, and the bullies from her school. These voices whip up drama and shout negative things at Deborah that reinforce her negative self-talk.
It's like Mean Girls on steroids here. Deborah cares what the members of the Collect think, but she also hates them. It's a tough battle.
Idat, The Dissembler
Deborah describes this goddess of Yr as beautiful. We only see her a couple of times in the entire novel. She's so mystical and amazing that her tears are made of diamonds.
That's a whole other level of bling.
After three years of intensive therapy, Deborah finally recognizes that Idat is a personification of her own beauty. This is a huge admission, since Deborah used to think she was ugly, fat, clumsy, and literally poisonous to other people.
Lactamaeon
Lactamaeon is one of the main gods of Deborah's Yr. He's one of the original gods that appeared when Deborah was little. He started off kind: he would fly with Deborah on his back or turn her into a horse or bird so she could run or fly free.
Over the years, thought, Lactamaeon has become more and more judgmental, just like the rest of Yr's inhabitants have. Everything in Yr is an unhealthy defense mechanism that Deborah has concocted unconsciously to help her get through life, and it's no surprise, really, when unhealthy defense mechanisms start, you know, showing how unhealthy they are.