- A scout troop ambles through a rocky desert canyon on horseback. They're surrounded by an assortment of majestic cliffs and crazy cool rock formations. Cue the sweeping John Williams score.
- The scouts dismount and start exploring a cave. One of the scouts says he doesn't think this is such a good idea.
- Listen, kid, if this was a good idea, we're willing to bet this would be a really short movie.
- Inside the caves, Scaredy Scout and his buddy stumble across four robbers down below. The robbers are stoked about something they've just dug out of the ground. They're led by a dude in a fedora and a leather jacket that ought to look very familiar to you if you've ever seen an Indiana Jones movie before.
- Hold up—the dude under the fedora is most definitely not Indiana Jones.
- Fedora holds up an ornate, gold cross. He looks at it like he wants to marry it and take a bite out of it all at the same time.
- "Indy?" Scaredy Scout says to his pal. "Indy, what are they doin'? Indiana? Indiana?"
- We get it now—and not just because Scaredy Scout called Indiana by name four times in, like, ten seconds. This is a flashback, and we've just met young Indiana Jones.
- Sweet.
- A super tells us that we're in Utah in 1912, and Young Indiana tells us that the cross is the Cross of Coronado.
- Fedora finally stops gazing at the cross and sets it down near a lantern and some of the robbers' other gear. Indiana looks ticked. He says to no one in particular that that cross is an important artifact and belongs in a museum.
- Indiana tells his scout buddy to go back and tell their troop leader that there are some shady characters looting in the caves and that he should call the sheriff ASAP.
- Scaredy Scout leaves.
- Indiana goes down to where the robbers are and grabs the cross. He sticks it in his uniform and shimmies up a rope, back toward the cave entrance. Just when he's almost in the clear, his foot snaps a piece of wood and the robbers turn around.
- Busted.
- Cut to Indiana racing out of the cave and scrambling down the rocky, uneven hill. His scout troop's M.I.A. The robbers run after him, and Indiana whistles for his horse. It shows up, and he tries to jump down onto the saddle from above. He misses but eventually gets on and rides off.
- Smooth, Indiana. Real smooth.
- The robbers also whistle. A truck and a car show up. They jump into the back of the truck and chase after Indiana across a large field.
- Indiana rides up alongside a circus train and hopes on board, ditching his horse. The robbers jump on board, too, and chase him over and through a series of train cars.
- In the House of Reptiles car, Indiana comes face to face with a nasty, hissing snake and then falls into a pit of hundreds of smaller snakes.
- Guess we know why Indiana Jones hates snakes now.
- Indiana makes it out of the House of Reptiles car, locking two of the robbers in behind him. After removing a stowaway snake from inside his shirt, the youngest robber starts chasing him, and this dude's got a knife.
- The two fight on top of the rhinoceros' train car, and as they roll around on the roof, the rhino's horn keeps poking through it, narrowly missing them both.
- Just then, the pair of robbers stuck in the reptile car shoot their way out and resume their pursuit.
- Indiana finds himself face-to-face with Fedora who tells him to give up because there's no way out of this.
- Indiana starts backing up and falls through the roof of another train car. Which circus performer calls this car their home away from home? Oh, just the gigantic lion.
- Indiana grabs a bullwhip from the wall and cracks it at the lion. He also cracks himself on the chin in the process. Guess we know where he got his famous chin scar and bullwhip now, too. Thanks, origin story.
- Fedora tells Indiana to toss the whip up through the hole in the ceiling. He does, and the robbers pull him to safety just before he's about to become lion lunch.
- Fedora tells the kid he's got heart, but he needs to cough up the Cross of Coronado. Indiana sticks to his guns and again proclaims that the artifact belongs in a museum.
- Indiana tussles with two of the robbers as they try to pull the cross from his hands. Just then, a snake slithers out of his sleeve, scaring the robbers and giving Indiana the chance to make a break for the magic car.
- Inside the magic car, Indiana finds the exit locked and hides in a trunk. Fedora comes in and tells him to get out of the trunk. Then the sides of the trunk fall down, revealing that it's empty. Take that, David Blaine.
- Fedora wrestles the exit of the magic car open and sees Indiana running down the tracks, away from the train. "Damn!" he says, but you can tell he's just as impressed that the kid got away as he is depressed that the kid got away.