How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #7
Without any warning, the dinner hour (which suddenly reemerges the night of the recital) morphs into a family meeting. This is the new drill: Link is sixteen years old and lives at home. They respect his maturity and growing autonomy, but in the end, as long as he lives under their roof, he will comply with their authority. He will see a shrink.
"You can do as you please with your exams," Mom says. "But you cannot do as you please with your life. Not while I still have a say in it." (15.4-5)
It wouldn't be coming-of-age if there weren't some battle for autonomy involved. It's normal for parents and teens to battle about new boundaries regarding who is in charge, and we think in this case they've done an admirable job of hashing it out.
Quote #8
If I were not afraid of Adena and what I envision she knows, I would pull her aside and ask if it is normal to be in love with someone who has made up his mind that sex will not happen. Not, repeat, not. I would ask her if I missed the class when they explained love and sex. Was I reading through that bit? How else would I know so little about what makes the body—mine and his—tremble, leak, and break open? How can there be no written laws—none at all—about how to love someone? And how come the only laws I can find written down about how to have sex concern not getting pregnant or caught or dead? (18.2)
This is yet another example of why communication within a family is so dang important. Ellen's parents should be the ones teaching her about sex and love (not the particulars, mind you, because ew, but you know, the basics). That, and she needs some girlfriends stat. That's where you get the good stuff on love and sex and everything else when you're a teenager exploring these domains for the first time.
Quote #9
I guess what happens now is because neither of us wants to say anything or cry in front of the other. It hurts a little, but not as much as the books say. There's not even a tearing feeling, more a feeling of oh, how unusual, until oh, this is it. It's nothing like drawing. I don't feel pulled into another place. I am here, finally here. I belong, completely and totally, to this particular beautiful face.
And then it's over. In less than four months I'll turn fifteen, but this will loom larger in my mind, I think. (20.20-21)
Losing your virginity has become something of a rite of passage for American teens, and we think the fact that Ellen's not disappointed, hurt, or confused is a major win for her. It's no surprise that this event will feel more important than her birthday; after all, you can only lose your virginity once.