How we cite our quotes: (Book.Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
He felt it in a manner his duty to think out his state, to approve the process, and when he came in fact to trace the steps and add up the items they sufficiently accounted for the sum. (2.2.3)
Early in the book, Strether budgets out the exact amount of fun he'll allow himself to have, and can't even think of going over budget. The idea of just letting himself go and enjoying life is too much to ask. He's an anxious dude, and the sheer fact that he's enjoying the freedom of travelling alone makes him feel like he's betraying his duty to Mrs. Newsome. It's like he needs her permission to enjoy life.
Quote #2
It was only a sign, but enough: she was going to be gracious and unallusive, she was going to play the larger game—which was still more apparent, after she had emerged from Chad's arms, in her direct greeting to the valued friend of her family. (8.2.1)
When Sarah first arrives in Paris, it takes only a glance from Strether to realize that she won't come out guns blazing and order Chad to go home. She's going to play along with the whole charade of going to Madame de Vionnet's parties and pretending to judge without prejudice. But behind all that she's got tunnel vision for her duty to Mrs. Newsome, which prevents her from enjoying anything Paris has to offer.
Quote #3
'Oh I've not let myself go very far,' Strether answered, feeling quite as if he had been called upon to hint to Mrs. Pocock how Parisians could talk. (8.3.6)
When Madame de Vionnet tells Sarah that Strether has totally submitted to the pleasures of Paris, Strether is quick to add that he hasn't let himself go too much. Nice save, dude. He wants Sarah to feel that his loyalties still lie with Mrs. Newsome, and actually enjoying himself in Paris would be a total betrayal of that loyalty.