On the Coco Rug
- One day, Mr. Zeidler (the owner of Oskar's boarding house) brings in a brand new coconut fiber rug to lay down in the main hallway of the house. Oskar helps with the installation. But by the time they've finished, there's an extra piece of the rug that needs to be cut off. Why is any of this important, you ask? Just wait for the weirdness.
- Later that night, Oskar wakes up and needs to use the bathroom. Since he's too lazy to get fully dressed, he grabs the extra piece of coco rug and wraps it around his waist like a towel.
- Oskar heads straight to the bathroom, which is completely dark. Once he's in there, he can feel another person already on the toilet.
- The person is startled, no surprise. Oskar can tell from her voice that she must be Sister Dorothea, the woman he's become obsessed with, even though he still hasn't seen her.
- Sister Dorothea reaches out to feel where she's going; but as she's reaching, she feels Oskar's bare upper body and the hairy rug that's covering his lower body. She gasps and asks who he is. Oskar, sensing an opportunity, tells her he's Satan. Totally logical thing to do in a situation like this.
- When she hears this, Sister Dorothea all but faints into Oskar's arms. He covers her with the coco fiber rug.
- Dorothea starts to get sexually aroused by the feel of the coco rug. She's kind of passed out.
- Sensing another opportunity, Oskar decides to try to have sex with Dorothea while she's unconscious. But he can't get an erection.
- Sister Dorothea comes to and realizes that Oskar's not Satan. (He just acts like it.) She pushes him away and runs out of the bathroom.
- Alone again, Oskar breaks down crying on the floor. Eventually, Mr. Zeidler and his wife wake up and check on him. At this same moment, Oskar's buddy Klepp busts through the door after a night of drinking and helps Oskar back to bed.
- The next day, Sister Dorothea moves out without Oskar ever seeing her.
- To console himself, Oskar goes with Klepp and their new guitarist to practice as a band next to the Rhine River. Oskar decides that they should call their band The Rhine River Three.