How we cite our quotes:
Quote #7
It is either Plato, or Plutarch, or Seneca, or Xenophon, or Epictetus, or Theophrastus, or Lucian—or some one perhaps of later date—either Cardan, or Budaeus, or Petrarch, or Stella—or possibly it may be some divine or father of the church, St. Austin, or St. Cyprian, or Bernard, who affirms that it is an irresistible and natural passion to weep for the loss of our friends or children (5.3.2)
There's nothing more natural than crying when your first-born son dies—unless, that is, you're Mr. Shandy. Before he can let himself go, he has to find proof that it's okay to cry by reading ancient writers. Heck—he probably had to find proof that it was natural before conceiving his son.
Quote #8
The verbs auxiliary we are concerned in here, continued my father, are, am; was; have; had; do; did; make; made; suffer; shall; should; will; would; can; could; owe; ought; used; or is wont.—And these varied with tenses, present, past, future, and conjugated with the verb see,—or with these questions added to them;—Is it? Was it? Will it be? Would it be? May it be? Might it be? And these again put negatively, Is it not? Was it not? Ought it not?—Or affirmatively,—It is; It was; It ought to be. Or chronologically,—Has it been always? Lately? How long ago?—Or hypothetically,—If it was; If it was not? What would follow? (5.43.2)
Mr. Shandy is so obsessed with auxiliary verbs (helping verbs, like "would" or "could") that he thinks they're the only subject a child needs to understand. Algebra? History? Basic personal hygiene? All worthless, as long as Tristram can conjugate properly.
Quote #9
Every word, Yorick, by this means, you see, is converted into a thesis or an hypothesis;—every thesis and hypothesis have an offspring of propositions;—and each proposition has its own consequences and conclusions; every one of which leads the mind on again, into fresh tracks of enquiries and doubtings.—The force of this engine, added my father, is incredible, in opening a child's head.—(6.2.1)
Mr. Shandy claims that the best way to teach kids is to show them formal argumentation—logic, like, "If … then" statements. Of course, since Mr. Shandy is saying it, the whole thing sounds absurd. He seems to think of a child's head as a nut that needs to be cracked open. With that philosophy, it's surprising Tristram didn't perish under Mr. Shandy's system of education.