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PSAT 1.1 Writing Diagnostic 242 Views


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Description:

PSAT 1.1 Writing Diagnostic. How should the underlined portion be changed in the passage, if at all?

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:00

Thank you We sneak And here's your shmoop douceur brought

00:05

to you by traffic laws You're not required to stop

00:09

in the name of love But whatever works for you

00:12

All right check out this passage already I'm here No

00:24

Depressing Alright how should the underlined portion be changed in

00:28

the passage if at all including examples such as bullying

00:32

or that alright here the potential answer You see the

00:35

no change thing there and then a couple of ways

00:37

of doing it all righty well is with all of

00:40

these underlying type problems we're gonna want to start by

00:42

going back to the passage to get some context Unfortunately

00:46

we don't have to travel very far because well here

00:48

it is didn't even have to break a sweat but

00:50

here's a full sentence in which it appears video systems

00:53

can help monitor passenger behaviour in this wait Negative actions

00:56

including examples such as bullying or theft monitor traffic surrounding

01:01

the vehicle and assistant recording observance of traffic laws and

01:04

to enhance driver safety through as lot of of love

01:07

of blobs That's probably right off the bat we can

01:09

turn a cold children option eight because there's no way

01:11

this sentence is a okay as it is including examples

01:15

such as bullying or theft Well this makes it sounds

01:18

as if bullying and theft or examples of examples government

01:22

examples of negative actions which is what passages really trying

01:26

to say so before we go too far down the

01:28

rabbit hole and start winding up with example of example

01:31

of example of examples let's cross this one out move

01:33

on What about be where they change such as to

01:37

like Well we appreciate them trying to put a valley

01:40

girl spin on things Oh my god But such as

01:44

and like are like totally the same thing the way

01:47

the sentences phrase it's still calling bullying and theft examples

01:52

and not types of behavior a subtle distinction But they

01:55

were all about subtlety Yeah season over said see such

01:59

as bully or theft for example Well it's definitely getting

02:03

closer since that at least conveys the intended point Unfortunately

02:06

there's a tad too much repetition here also there is

02:09

a tad too much repetition here That jazz and for

02:13

example are basically the same thing Sounds like someone's trying

02:17

to stretch things out to meet a word Count requirements

02:19

were shocked They didn't throw a heretofore or in a

02:22

cz much in there so long Well then the correct

02:26

answer has to be deep such as bullying or theft

02:29

And indeed it is such as ties bullying or theft

02:33

To the description that immediately precedes it In this sense

02:37

negative actions And unless you're bullying a bully or stealing

02:41

someone's heart those two are certainly negative actions So it

02:44

is inasmuch as we heretofore have hitherto concluded that ok 00:02:49.63 --> [endTime] we have to hit our word count right now

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