Bell Curve

Bell Curve

1
5%

You put in years training and cleaning the local rink, only to screw things up on your first and last ice cut...by running over one of the skaters. That's why you're supposed to use your horn.

2
25%

The good news—you get a job cutting ice for the Olympics. The bad news—you miss a patch of ice and America's young hopeful trips on it and crashes into the wall. Her routine is ruined, she's broken several bones, and everyone's blaming you.

3
50%

You finally get the job of cutting the ice in exchange for ice time at your local rink. This saves you a bundle as a high school hockey player. The only downside is that you have to clean the bathrooms and the locker rooms...and they stink.

4
75%

You're a local celebrity at your rink. Everyone wants you to cut the ice for them. Little kids watch you drive the Zamboni around and want to be you when they grow up.

5
95%

You are the best Zamboni operator in all the land. The Red Wings fly you out to all of their games to cut ice for them because they think you're good luck. Olympic teams look to you—and you alone—to cut and clean the ice for them.