A Northern Light Pa (Michael) Gokey Quotes

There was a bill of sale on top of it, and money—a dirty, wrinkled bill. Ten dollars. For twelve gallons of maple syrup. I knew he'd been hoping for twenty.

I looked at him then. He looked tired. So tired. And worn and old.

"Mattie… Mattie, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to… ," he said, reaching for me.

I shook him off. "Never mind, Pa. Go to bed. We've got the upper field to plow tomorrow." (10.plaintive.14-17)

Pa's drunk here and has earned less money than he expected he would for the syrup he's made. Which is why he hits Mattie when he finds out she's earned money and hasn't shared it with the family. So we've got the trouble that lack of money can bring a family, combined with the responsibility Pa has to shoulder raising four girls without a wife, and Maggie recognizes how much of a toll this takes on him. It's pretty generous of her.

He lifted my bag down, walked me to the kitchen door, and peered inside. I waited for him to hand me the carpetbag, but he didn't. He held it hard against him. "Well, you going in or not?" he asked me.

"I need my bag, Pa."

As he handed it to me, I saw he'd gripped it so tightly his knuckles had turned white. We were not the kissing kind, me and Pa, but I wished that maybe he would at least hug me good-bye. (29.icosahedron.23-25)

Like many families, Mattie and her Pa have difficulty communicating. That's okay, though, because their emotions are pretty clear here: Pa wants to protect Mattie from the world and is having a hard time letting her go. (Um, the carpetbag is a pretty clear symbol for Mattie here.)

"Lawton does. Said it was my fault. That I killed her with hard work. Said I should have moved us all to Inlet and worked in the sawmill. Said I killed your mother and I wasn't going to kill him." And then his face crumpled and he sobbed like a child. "I didn't kill her; I loved her..." (35.aby.75)

Pa is virtually incoherent in his illness, but he reveals the guilt and sorrow he feels about his wife's death and his son's abandonment. This guilt takes a huge toll on not just him, but his four daughters as well. The strength of emotion is almost too much for him to bear.