How It All Goes Down
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- This chapter begins with a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr.'s dream speech from 1963. Wait, did we just jump almost 100 years into the future?
- While we're thinking about that, we hear about a dream that Lincoln has, where he seems to be hunting a vampire while that vampire is hunting some people.
- And then Abe wakes up in the White House.
- Apparently, President Kennedy has invited Lincoln to see Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech, which is about to take place near the Lincoln Memorial.
- Lost? Never fear. The rewind's a'comin'.
- Let's learn how Lincoln got to this place, shall we?
- After his assassination, the whole country mourns, and hundreds of thousands come out to see his body as it is (slowly) moved back to Illinois.
- On the night of the funeral, Henry Sturges pays a visit to Abe's corpse.
- But we'll get to that in a minute. First, our narrator wants to give us an update on the rest of Abe's family.
- Tad Lincoln dies in 1871 of tuberculosis, so only his son Robert Lincoln survives. (Well, until 1926.)
- Mary, who is already depressed, becomes even more depressed after Tad dies. She also becomes a little crazy paranoid before she dies in 1882.
- Enough about his sad, sad family, what about Abe?
- For the last hundred years, Abe and Henry Sturges have been fighting against evil vampires and injustice.
- They fought against white supremacists and the Ku Klux Klan in the South after the Civil War; and then they fought against the vampires in World War II. (It's unclear, but we guess the book means that the Nazis were vampires or pro-vampire.)
- And now they're back in America, watching Martin Luther King, Jr., give his famous "I have a dream" speech.
- But Lincoln and Sturges still have more to do to make sure that all people are treated equally and that vampires don't kill us all in our sleep.
- And they'll keep fighting because Sturges made Abe into a vampire.
- Does this mean that Abe Lincoln might kill us in our sleep and drink our blood?
- Let's not think about it.