Critic speak is tough, but we've got you covered.
Quote :"Sex in Public"
By heteronormativity we mean the institutions, structures of understanding, and practical orientations that make heterosexuality seem not only coherent—that is, organized as a sexuality—but also privileged. Its coherence is always provisional, and its privilege can take several (sometimes contradictory) forms: unmarked, as the basic idiom of the personal and the social; or marked as a natural state; or projected as an ideal or moral accomplishment. It consists less of norms that could be summarized as a body of doctrine than of a sense of rightness produced in contradictory manifestations—often unconscious, immanent to practice or to institutions. Contexts that have little visible relation to sex practice, such as life narrative and generational identity, can be heteronormative in this sense, while in other contexts sex between men and women might not be heteronormative. Heteronormativity is thus a concept distinct from heterosexuality.
Questions asked of single people at weddings: Are you married? When are you getting married? Are you dating anyone? Where would you like to get married? What color will the napkins be?
Questions asked of a married woman at a baby shower: Do you have children? When are you going to have children? How many kids do you want? Will they go to public school or private school? Do you want boys or girls?
What Berlant and Warner suggest is that the world is structured according to heterosexuality, according to the rules of good coupledom and nice, white picket fence families. There exists a whole set of accepted social behaviors that mark the good couple from the not-so-good couple. Normative behavior is any group of social codes that everyone agrees is proper, well practiced and beneficial to society.
A home is for a family. A family needs good credit to get a home. A good family saves money for vacations. A good family goes to Disneyland for vacations. Disney characters have family values. Buying products that have family values is good. Etc.
If you don't have a family, a heteronormative society tells you that you must be depressed, deeply in need of support and encouragement. A heterosexual couple might not be having any sex at all, but they are still heteronormative if they are behaving in the way a "good" family should.
Heteronormativity starts with the proper, missionary sex between married folk, but it is far more concerned with how you behave outside the bedroom.
Homonormativity is a kindred term that describes the behavior of normative gay couples as they seek to marry and raise kids and act "just like everyone else." If heteronormativity is privileged over all other social orders, and if it has a variety of damaging consequences, as Berlant and Warner point out, then how do gay couples challenge that order successfully?
Are white, rich gay couples with kids challenging that order at all? Are gay couples seeking acceptance into a dominant social order that is as restrictive and detrimental as the "old gay ways" of secret sexual encounters, clandestine nightclubs, sham marriages, and hiding in closets?
Is there a difference in today's society between gay and queer?
All of these debates rage on, Shmoopers. You go ahead and draw your own conclusions.