The joke goes there are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

Ha ha...good...right?

No, not right. To most of us, that isn't funny at all.

Even the computer savvy/well-versed in binary types who actually got it probably aren't laughing too much. And those people tend to be pretty smart, so we're siding with them. Hopefully, if you're interested in this profession, you're one of those people.

Most folks are somewhat intimidated by computers, even the ones they personally own. This is silly, of course. Recent studies show personal computers account for only 5% of household deaths, which puts them behind leaving dirty underwear on the bathroom floor (8%), forgetting to lift the lid (10%), and arguments over who gets to hold the remote control (67%). But statistics aside, they still intimidate people. 

Mostly this is because the average user has no idea how their computer actually works. They're pretty sure it uses electricity, and that's about the extent of their knowledge. Most also know it has something called an "operating system," but they frankly do not have any idea what that is or why their computer is constantly whining at them to update it. 

This general lack of knowledge is perhaps what has helped computer scientists gradually reshape the world; no one understood enough of what they were doing to stop them.

For many years now the world has run on computers. At this point there really isn't any getting away from it, so we may as well put up the welcome signs for Skynet, learn Asimov's Three Laws, take the Red Pill, and figure out our place in the Brave New World. We'll have computer scientists to thank for our coming robot overlords. But that's years away.

Unlike engineers who design and actually build things, computer scientists' business is to delve further and further into the theory of how computers operate and how they could be made to operate in the future, which gradually drives them insane. At least we assume it does. 

Computer scientists aren't about data as much as they are about what to do with data. Edsger Dijkstra, who was, as you are no doubt aware (like fudge, you are), one of the most well-known computer scientists in the world, is credited with saying, "Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes." 

So your computer scientist is a theorist, not an I.T. guy; a predictor of future capabilities, not the person you ask to recover the midterm paper you accidentally deleted. This is not to say if you have a computer science degree you automatically become a computer scientist. Plenty don't. Many people get a B.S. in computer science then move into I.T., network administration, coding, programming, graphic designing, etc. (source). There's often a big difference between education and profession.

But let's talk a little about what pure computer scientists might do. Among other things, they develop algorithms, which is a fancy word for step-by-step process. Here's an example:

• Begin
1. Take candy bar from pantry
2. Open candy bar wrapper
3. Remove candy bar from wrapper
4. Eat candy bar
5. Smile contentedly
6. Deposit wrapper into trash receptacle
7. Count additional candy bar wrappers already in trash receptacle
8. If 0, repeat steps 1-7
9. If >0 but <3, proceed to End
10. If >3, deposit bathroom scale into trash receptacle without further use
11. Locate nearest jogging track
• End

You get the idea. Computer algorithms, while a lot more complicated, are still essentially a list of instructions based on conditions. Through these the computer scientist is trying to figure out the fastest, most efficient way to process data. 

This could be for a new operating system or it could simply be theoretical research intended for publication, which in turn will be read by software engineers and thus may potentially lead to a new operating system. Or a new system architecture. Or a new data transfer protocol. Or one of those scary new Japanese robots.

Among the lengthy list of accomplishments the computer science community has racked up are the Internet, the PC, code compilers, the spreadsheet (no kidding; once upon a time, mankind did not have electronic spreadsheets, and what a glorious unproductive time that was), wireless technology, encryption and computer cryptography, artificial intelligence, social networks, the Blue Screen of Death, Error 404, and automated Customer Service.

So while it is clear some computer scientists should be nominated for the Nobel Prize, others should probably be prosecuted. Especially whichever one is responsible for the following error message, which we are not making up:

Keyboard not detected. Press any key to continue.

Anyway, these computer scientists truly are the movers and shakers of tomorrow. The Internet is the best example of this. Originally it was intended as just a data transfer structure for intra-government communication. Now look; it's shrunk the globe and brought about the greatest period of information sharing and interconnectivity mankind has ever enjoyed. And what do most of you do with it? Tweet and watch Netflix.

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