Back in Gammy Shmoop's day, doctors made house calls for everything from a heart attack to a diaper rash. Nowadays, you have to be a movie star or own a Learjet to get a doctor to show up anywhere near your posh Bel Air pad; even if you've got a serious case of the sniffles. 

Those who make house calls are called Concierge Doctors. If you're discreet, enjoy kissing up to celebrities, are a whiz at math and science, and don't mind enduring fourteen years of school and training to get your M.D., you could be the next Doctor to the Stars.

Like we said, you have to be discreet (good at keeping secrets). You won't get a lot of repeat business if you're selling your primo patient's embarrassing mystery rash diagnosis to The Enquirer. Being a concierge doctor means you're on beck and call 24/7 and mum's the word. That includes resisting the urge to share your heroic tale of burning a wart off of Prince Harry's royal hand at the dinner table.

The upside to being a concierge doctor: lots of really cool perks from your incredibly grateful clients. You get to hang out with Jack on the floor of the Laker's game; your celebrity Chef client will name his latest burger after you, and there's not a concert, show, or musical spectacular that you can't get tickets to. And as for your parents? Well, everyone loves to have a doctor in the family.

Just make sure you actually have some famous clients.

If you're a hit concierge doctor, say, in the wealthy enclave of the Hamptons, you'll be making the big, big bucks. Your retainer fees alone will be enough to pay for that membership at the Maidstone club, and the seat warmers in your black Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG convertible will ensure your tush is always room temperature.

But remember, you're going to have to be really, really careful about what you do and what you prescribe to those celebrity clients. One wrong move and you could wind up like The Man Who Killed Elvis, or the late King of Pop's private physician. Being a concierge doctor isn't a job for the meek. Unless you're partial to orange jumpsuits, you're going to have to learn how to say "No" to some pretty powerful people.

Another downside to being a successful concierge doctor is that you may have the dough, but not the time to spend it anywhere. While on-call, you're always on the clock and if you're lucky, you'll be able to take a day off if you stay close to home. You can't exactly be holed-up on an exotic island, under a waterfall somewhere. When the starting guard to the top rated basketball team gets joint pain an hour before the big game, you've gotta be available.

You'll be married to your job. Your spouse and kids may have to eat dinner without you as you're being whisked away to spread your healing touch around to your patients. 

The other painful reality is that just because you've got a medical degree, a winning personality, and a willingness to travel, that doesn't mean you'll actually get those celebrity patients. It's possible that you will go through all those years of education, residency, and studying for the MCATS, and the only person willing to give you a retainer fee is your seventy-five year old great aunt Ina. And that's with a family discount.

With the average cost of med school equaling what it takes to feed a small village, you'll have student loans to pay and loan sharks all over you.

If you do manage to snag a few well-to-do clients, you're going to have to stay in the game and wait for word of mouth to spread like a Southern California wildfire in summer; and that means having enough mullah to afford the nice smelling gel that Mila Kunis likes for your portable ultrasound machine. You know the saying, "You have to spend money, to make money?" 

Well you'll be spending lots of it. Being a concierge doctor means no free office supplies for you. You're going to have to buy your equipment, pay all of your expenses, and live nearby, so you can attend to your patients in time. You can't be living in the Bronx and expect to be making house calls on the Island. If you're living in New York, either Manhattan or Long Island is acceptable—Staten Island isn't.

You'd better hire a good accountant because your W-2's gonna get mighty complicated.

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