In a word, grief is harsh. In two words, it's mega harsh. It's like a little elf clinging to your back and no matter how much you politely explain to him that you're not an elf-horse, he just won't get off. It seems fine at first. I mean…he's not that heavy, you can handle it right? 

But when school, work, or other daily commitments get rough, the extra weight gets extra tiring. That light little elf can suddenly feel like a full-sized Orlando Bloom piggy-backing his way into everything you do. That's where a grief counselor comes in; complete with a super-sized elf-spatula of active listening and psychotherapy training to pry the pesky actor off of you.

Grief (or "bereavement," if you work in a funeral home or are a member of the Addams Family) counseling helps people deal with a loss in his or her life. With a salary of $42,000 a year, it's not going to make you filthy rich, but it'll give you the chance to work with people on an emotional level and to help them bounce back from devastation (source).

A bunch of years ago, Elizabeth Koopa-Boss…sorry, that's Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, noticed that there was a pattern to human grieving. Kubler-Ross detailed the five stages of grief one must go through when faced with an incredible loss. We're going to keep the feels at bay by explaining it in a more video-gamey kind of way.

The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In the initial denial stage, we're unwilling to accept that a loss has occurred: "I didn't lose that FIFA match, I couldn't have lost it." Then there's anger, where the loss becomes "real" and rage or blame ensues: "You're not supposed to be able to score off a scissor-kick volley from thirty-five yards out. This game is rigged."

 

There is no such thing as griefing  therapy (Source)

Once the anger has set in, bargaining is next up. It'll seem natural to want to go back and make things turn out differently, in an if-only-I-had-made-contact-on-that-header-in-the-eightieth-minute sort of way. After that is the depression stage, where sadness and hopelessness really sink in. Finally, you reach the acceptance stage of your FIFA grief. It's okay, there'll be more games.

You'll find this pattern whenever a loss happens. You can probably find it in even more pointless problems like the one above, but what we're talking about going forward is true, deeply-felt grief. It's important to remember that grief itself is totally okay. This is a natural, completely human coping mechanism when we're faced with something as world-shaking as a break-up, the death of someone close, or the loss of home or property due to catastrophe.

The trouble comes when people get stuck. The grief counselor's job is to guide their patients through whatever stage or stages they are stuck in until they eventually accept that the loss has occurred and move on with their changed existence. You'll need to be able to stay consistently professional, totally empathetic, and able to practice what is called "active listening." This involves a lot keeping your mouth closed, your ears open, and your empathy directed toward your patient.

 

Everyone needs a good hug sometimes. (Source)

Some grievers will come to you and just need to vent, while others will need you to help them build a plan to work through what could be months of built-up emotional energy. You have to stay strong through all of it. Let's move through this profile with care and sensitivity and see if you have what it takes to care for others' grief as an occupation.

And if anything gets too real for you here, remind yourself that you just read a section called "The Real Poop." Everything's going to be fine.

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