"Now reach for the sky, yous mugs." (We are assured that is an actual sentence that means something.) (Source)

Ever wonder how alcohol gets on the shelf? You might be picturing shadowy men in trench coats and fedoras, armed with tommy guns, smuggling booze across the border in Model-Ts. Next question: How old are you? Because you're totally right...if this were the 1920s.

These days there's a much easier, less shady way of getting the demon rum from the people who make it to the people who sell it. That easier way is known as a liquor distributor. You can make money connecting manufacturer to buyer, and part of that's making sure they have the best stuff. That means samples.

But how much money? You sure get right to the point, don't you? You're looking at an average of $44,000 a year, which, all things considered, isn't too bad (source). 

Fundamentally, to enjoy this work, you'll have to be a people person. You're a salesperson, but you're also the customer. You're buying the liquor wholesale, negotiating for the best price there, and then selling it to vendors or customers, looking for the best price there too. It also helps to connect personally with both sides. Make sure that everyone is benefiting from the deal as much as possible (source). 

Liquor distributors tend not to make a ton of cash, but there's room for advancement. When you start, you'll likely be working for a distribution company, but you could rise in the ranks or found your own company. You might decide to promote a specific brand. Most big labels are always interested in hiring. Or, you could leave the world of liquor behind and take your sales skills to any other retail or wholesale job.

There's also something really great about being a liquor distributor: You don't need a degree in anything specific. An encyclopedic knowledge of alcohol helps, but it's not like you learn that in college. Well, you can learn, but they don't teach it. The point is, regardless of what you studied, it's more about your people skills and your knowledge of the product than anything else. If you know it, and you can sell it, you'll be fine.

A typical day might see you going to any number of bars or restaurants, hoping to interest them in your wares. That means a lot of sampling, by the client and by you—because drinking alone is a sign of alcoholism. You're selling liquor to vendors, primarily, but a vendor can be a bar, restaurant, speakeasy, tavern, inn, grill, sports arena, zoological garden...anywhere they serve hard alcohol.

 

Or as it's better known, Biker Heaven. (Source)

It might sound like an easy job. After all, these places want liquor, and you have liquor. It should be a match made in heaven. Or, at least that part of heaven where everyone is throwing up and getting in fistfights.

No, the challenge is getting them to buy your liquor. See, there are tons of brands out there and tons of distributors. You have a product and a market, but it's up to you to dominate it. Competition was definitely stiffer in the hat-and-tommy-gun days, but don't kid yourself—it's still pretty stiff.

While there's an element of drinking and schmoozing, don't think of this career as a nonstop party. The salesperson who drinks too much of their wares ends up with nothing to sell. In fact, a lot of people in this line of work pointedly drink as little as they can so their senses aren't dulled for the negotiation process.

In the end, it's just like selling any other product. If you've got the right people skills you should do just fine. Just make sure you're strong enough to watch people sample your delicious products without breaking and gulping some down yourself. Save it for celebrating after the sale.

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