Did I tell you you could touch that? (Source)

Humans: We like stuff. We like all kinds of stuff. We like big stuff, we like little stuff; we like fast stuff, we like really fast stuff. We like shiny stuff, and tasty stuff, and little green paper stuff that get us more stuff. We like putting it all in one place and looking at it and using it and saying, "This is my stuff." You know what we don't like? Other. People. Touching. Our. Stuff.

So what do we do? We put locks on stuff to make sure no one can take it or drive it or use our green paper stuff unless we give them permission. We're the only one with the key. But oh no—we lost the key. Or we left it in the ignition. Or our significant other broke our heart and now we need to keep them away from our stuff again. Whatever shall we do? Call the locksmith, of course.

Believe it or not, you can actually make a living helping people get back into their cars and homes. On average, your certified professional locksmith makes around $41,000 (source). More experience, more clients, more training, and more advanced services like electronic systems and security installation all add up to more money. Master locksmiths with their own companies can even pull down a hundred grand doing everything from antique lock repair to cybersecurity systems to good old-fashioned safecracking (source).

Wait, did we say safecracking? Yes, we said safecracking. As part of the security and mechanical locking mechanism trade, locksmiths also work with installing and cracking open safes. Imagine going to work and getting a call to come open a safe that might contain the hidden jewels and historic documents of some long-dead and famously wealthy person of importance.

Or it might contain nothing.

Usually it's nothing.

Still, safecracking sounds kind of cool, right? You can wear all black and play the Pink Panther theme song as you break into the safe—legally, of course.

Locksmiths work with locks (duh): They fix them, replace them, install them, and sometimes even break into them when the situation calls for it.

 

Hopefully it's not a home office. (Source)

They also work with keys. Remember that one time your mom accidentally dropped her keys into the dog food bowl and they got stuck in Mr. Droolpuddles for a week, and that guy with the weird van loaded with like a bazillion keys showed up to give her replacements for her house, office, and car keys? Yeah, he was a locksmith, and that was his office.

So what does it take for someone to make it in the wide world of (legally) picking locks? Physically, you have to be really good with your hands, because you're going to be trying to get teeny tiny tools into itty bitty holes and making incredibly detailed cuts to small pieces of metal. Being able to work with tools is a pretty big necessity as well. A mechanical mind helps, although we mean that figuratively...not in a Terminator sort of way.

While you don't have to be the world's greatest conversationalist, you will be dealing with people (usually strangers) who are in unpleasant situations. You'll need to be able to string together a couple coherent thoughts at the very least. Some measure of compassion might be useful, too. 

Sure, they're snapping at you, but wouldn't you be crabby if you accidentally locked yourself out of your house on an icy January eve? You'll also need to be able to turn customers down if you think they want to get into something for illegal reasons. That house or car might not be theirs, you know. It probably is. But it might not be.

As far as degrees go, a certification can get you started in this profession, but a business degree will come in handy if you decide you want to run your own locksmithing empire.

Before you "lock in" to this unique career, read on and let us "unlock" some of the answers to your questions. There was supposed to be a third pun here, but somebody stole it. Talk about bad lock.

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