You spend the bulk of your mornings trying to master gravity and attempting to beat your reflection to the mirror. We think it's safe to say you're looney tunes.

You're a physics teacher at a high school in the suburbs, where every day you try to expand the minds of your students, much in the same way that the universe is expanding. Okay, that was a stretch.

You're in the research and development department of a Fiber-Optic Technologies company. You were initially hesitant to accept the position, as fiber makes you gassy.

You're a particle physicist working for the federal government. You're a particle man. Doing the things a particle can.

You're a world-famous theoretical physicist with your own show on Discovery. You just proved that the most delicious of all subatomic particles is the pizza neutron.