Warning: Do not try anything you're about to read at home.

Woah. A warning label on a Shmoop page. You're probably thinking, "This must be serious." Well, it actually is. If you clicked this page (which obviously you did), that means you're interested in becoming a pyrotechnican. As a profession, it can be seriously cool and seriously fun, but it's also dangerous―seriously.

Maybe you've heard the phrase: "If you play with fire, you might get burned." That's because playing with fire is silly. As a pyrotechnician, you'll instead be working with fire, and explosions, and rockets, which is no less dangerous. On top of that, you'll likely only be paid about $45,000 a year. It's not terrible, but definitely not great.

On second thought, maybe just leave him alone. (Source)

Now, the good news: If you do it right, being a pyrotechnician can be one of the most exhilarating jobs that is legal to pursue in the United States. The word "pyrotechnicians" comes from the Greek words for fire (pyro) and art (tekhne). So if you are a pyrotechnician, you are quite literally a fire artist. Go ahead and tell that to Braden the next time he pretends he's a ninja.

So, does that mean if you join the crew in your hometown that sets off the Fourth of July fireworks display, then you're a pyrotechnician? Not in the slightest. To be considered a legit, business card-worthy pyrotechnician, you have to be licensed as one. That takes some work. It does start with joining that crew for the summer, and then continuing to learn from them and other crews for some time. Then, there's the safety regulations you'll have to learn, because shooting someone's eye out is actually the least of your worries.

The best pyrotechnicians are the ones who put safety first. If you're the person who thinks life is your own personal Matrix and that the rules do not apply to you, we have other careers we can suggest. However, if you're careful, dedicated, artistic, and into a smidge of manual labor, this career could light up your life...along with thousands of onlookers' lives.

Pictured: You touching everyone. (Source)

And we do mean thousands. Pyrotechnics is one of maybe a handful of careers where the results can be visible for miles and miles. Your work in this field will be a part of grand spectacles, childhood memories, celebrations, first kisses, and millions of other human experiences. Even if they don't know your name, people will love you for what you do.

Dogs, on the other hand, will probably hate you.

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