Salary

Average Salary: $28,000

Expected Lifetime Earnings: $1,168,944


For a job that seems like it'd serve a niche clientele, we're here to tell you it does—when you own a store called Niche Clientele. Otherwise, you're working at a department store for an average of twelve bucks an hour, hemming clothes for thousands of nameless faces and faceless names (source). Your coworkers working on the sales floor will end up taking home a lot more than you.

The bespoke tailors who have their own client list could end up taking home a six-figure income, but it's more likely they're just making a decent $50,000 a year and living somewhere out in the suburbs. After all, the city's an expensive place to live, but where else are you going to find those high-class clients you keep hearing about?

Tailors in the bottom tenth are making closer to minimum wage, a dismal $18,000 per year. Unfortunately, it's not great down there at the bottom, but hopefully your job will have a decent promotion schedule. Either that or an employee discount to the store, which might go a long way toward making up for the salary.

Want to avoid a life of threadbare clothes? Move to a state like California, Pennsylvania, or Oregon, where average wages are above $30,000 a year (source). And avoid working at a dry-cleaner. Not only would you be stuck in a cramped back room, you'd probably be living in an even smaller room at home.