Ding. (Source)

Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, become school principals. And those who can't do that, become vice principals.

Just kidding. That is so wrong. Let us count the ways.

First of all, most school vice principals (or assistant principals, as some like to be called) were once teachers. Yup, that's right. Mrs. Magilicuty—high school VP extraordinaire who doles out discipline like candy on Halloween—used to teach English for years and years before she decided to join the dark side and go into administration.

But how does something like this happen? How does nice, sweet Mrs. Magilicuty go from English teacher extraordinaire to your high school's chief referral officer? Well, way back when, Mrs. Magilicuty went to college for six years, first earning her BA and then a Master's Degree in Education—she thought she really, really liked kids and wanted to help them become smart. She imagined spending her life teaching the joys of Shakespeare and Chaucer, Bronté and, well, Bronté

But once she started teaching, she realized that the kids in her classroom would rather text or fling little rubber bands from their braces at one another than listen to anything she had to say. Unless it was about The Hunger Games, which Magilicuty refused to read out of principle.

So she decided to help her beloved school by joining the administration and doling out the discipline. "That'll teach those darn kids," she thought. Plus, she could make nearly twice as much money as a VP anyway. On average vice principals make around $80,000.

But not all Veeps are in charge of giving out detentions and suspensions. Some are in charge of keeping the curriculum fresh and fancy, while others handle all of the special education issues, like attending IEP meetings (Individualized Education Planning meetings) and seeing to it that all the teacher's aides and teacher's assistants are matched up, working, and where they need to be.

Oftentimes, a middle school or high school will have more than one VP. There'll be a VP for discipline, a VP for curriculum and activities like sports, music, drama, and special education. HBO even has a series called Vice Principals (so original) about the folks that "almost rule the school."

Then there are the Veeps who  are the principal's right hand man (or woman). They do a little of everything that the principal doesn't have time to do—or doesn't want to do.

You'll get plenty of annoying helicopter parents calling and emailing you, disgruntled teachers, sleeping subs, bad kids, and sometimes literally the kitchen (or second floor girl's bathroom) sink to deal with.

The challenges of running a school are never ending.

Walk through these doors...you will enter into a vortex where everything that could possibly go wrong absolutely will. (Source)

Still, it will be all worth it once you get promoted to head honcho. That's right—most VPs are in it for the job experience on their résumé. Rarely does an administrator become principal without putting in the time as a VP.

But do you have what it takes to rule the school? Have you taken a good long look at that man in the mirror?

If you're thinking you want to become a VP, it's good to get along with the students and have them like you. You'll need to earn the respect of the teachers and other school staff as well. So you're pretty much caught between a rock and a hard place.

You'll have to think quickly on your feet—especially if you plan on catching those kids trying to ditch school at lunchtime. You'll also need a really big office drawer for all the confiscated cell phones you are holding onto. Gotta teach all those texters a lesson.

Oh yeah, and you will need a good pair of walking shoes for all the rounds you will have to make to check in on teachers and classes.

If you're a special education VP, you'll probably be spending a good portion of your days in meetings to discuss how effective the programs in your school are for students with disabilities. You'll have to make sure your school is following all of the ADA laws and state special-ed regulations. As the administrator in an IEP meeting, you have the power to provide or cut a certain service—but you'll need to make sure the school has the budget to actually perform the service and a teacher who has the qualifications to do it. This can get frustrating since parents may see you as the bad guy who is not helping their kid. On the other hand, if you promise things that your district can't afford, you could be out of a job.

You'll also have administrative woes to smooth out. If a teacher isn't towing the line and is say, reading her diary to the class instead of War and Peace, that could be a problem you'll have to attend to. You may be the first line of a teacher losing or keeping her job.

Of course, as VP, one of your most important tasks is to be the first mate to the captain.

You may sometimes need to push the principal to address one issue or do the "right thing," even if you don't always agree.

You should be a sounding board for problems and work together. You are the A-team. You are Robin to the principal's Batman (although sometimes you may feel more like Alfred).

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