PBIS: Cooperation

Helping Out with Chores

We're not supposed to admit this, but chores are... not fun. There, we said it. They're horrible. They're kind of gross (cleaning the tub? blech.) But they're absolutely necessary. Unless you enjoy stepping on Funyon crumbs in your socks or wearing the same dirty crop top five days in a row, you need to do chores.

Within each household, there are certain things that need to be done in order to keep your living space, you know, not gross. If no one takes out the garbage, the house will stink. If no one does the dishes, there will be no clean dishes to eat off of. Who wants to come home to a house that smells like a landfill, where you have to drink soup out of cupped hands?

Most of the time, your parents or guardians will delegate tasks to you. Being told what to do can be frustrating, especially when you want to spend your own time a certain way—a way that's not cleaning up after everyone. It can be difficult to make other people's priorities your priority.

But you have to. End of story.

We'll be very explicit here. We can't speak for the heads of your household, but the usual order of priorities is this:

1. Professional life: school, jobs
2. Home life: family, relatives, pets, chores
3. Social life: friends, dates, get-togethers, social media

When you're an adult, you can make your own priorities. Hey, maybe your home life will take a higher priority than your professional life. Until then, listen to your parents or guardians and cooperate. You really wouldn't be anywhere without them.

Communication

Do we really need to say this? Seriously, talk to your parents. Unless they're telepathic, they will have no idea that, say, you have a massive essay due tomorrow and can't help clean out the refrigerator. If you don't tell them, they might get mad, and then you might get mad at them for putting even more pressure on you. Then they might get mad at you for your bad attitude, which is actually there for a pretty good reason that they just don't know about.

It can get really ugly really fast without communication. Better to do it.

Getting Along with Family

Most of us didn't choose our families. Either way, better deal with it, because you're in it for the long haul—or at least until you move out. But we get it. Roommates can totally cramp your style, especially when your dad tells his super embarrassing dad jokes around your friends ("Pleased to meet you, So Embarrassed! I'm Dad!").

But there are definitely worse things than lame dad jokes, so count your blessings and work it out.

Firmly establishing ground rules is the first step to creating boundaries that you're all comfortable with. Essentially, you have to work around your issues and come to some sort of compromise, or cooperate.

In order to have friends, you need to be a friend. You didn't instantly become friends with all of your current friends. Similarly, you can't just walk up to Beyoncé and ask her to marry you. Relationships take time. Also, she's taken.

The same thing goes with the relationships that you have with your family. You have to cultivate them. Although you're already bonded by being family, taking the time to work on bettering your relationships with each of your family members will make those bonds stronger. You can do this by:

1. Spending quality time with them
2. Asking how their day went
3. Giving them help when they need it
4. Making sacrifices for them
5. Trying to relieve their stress

In other words, be a little selfless once in a while. Think about the people around you, and they'll likely do the same. If you have a positive relationship with your family, you'll be more willing to cooperate with them.

In the Real World

So... this happened. Makes you want to work on your cooperation skills, huh?

• "Wife Loses It Over Ill Husband Neglecting Chores—Her Solution Lands Her in Jail"