You might be a finely responsible young man or woman, but statistics don't lie. You have too many minor brethren that make up the majority of motor vehicle crashes.

So, to protect everyone from your relatively high odds of crashing, we rein you in, especially during your teenage years.

You'll first get this piece of paper that says "Learner's Permit" on it. You're permitted to drive, but you have to have a licensed driver who's 21 years of age or older in the front passenger seat at all times. And you can only drive from 6:00AM to 9:00PM.

This bears repeating. You can't drive alone. Anywhere. This is huge. If a cop catches you driving alone with only a Learner's Permit, it's likely that you won't get your real license until you're at least 18.

Think you're cool because you're 16 and have your Provisional License? You still can't drive between the hours of 11:00PM and 6:00AM (Sunday through Thursday, September to June; midnight to 6:00AM all other times) without that 21-year-old in your passenger seat unless you're driving to or from work, school, sports, or the hospital. Once you turn 19, those hourly restrictions will go away. You also can't drive anyone who isn't a sibling, parent, or licensed driver 21 or over.

The belief is that in this probationary time, you'll be extra super extra extra cautious. And if you're not, then you aren't ready to be inflicted on everyone else who has to use the same roads as you.

Already feeling antsy? Want to upgrade your Learner's Permit to a Provisional License? Let's play a little game to see if you're eligible.

Learner's Permit: Choose Your Own Adventure (As Long As It Sticks to State Rules)

Let's say you've had your Learner's Permit for a while now and want to upgrade:

A. Are you 21 or older? If YES, go to B. If NO, go to C.
B. Congrats! Once you turn 21, you don't need that Learner's Permit anymore. Time to upgrade.
C. Have you had your Learner's Permit for at least six months? If YES, go to D. If NO, go to E.
D. Have you successfully avoided incurring a moving traffic violation within the last six months? If YES, go to F. If NO, go to E.
E. Sorry kid, you're gonna have to wait a while.
F. Has a parent, legal guardian, or responsible adult driver aged 21 or older certified that you have had at least 40 hours of driving practice? If YES, go to G. If NO, go to E.
G. Have you passed a driving test? If YES, go to H. If NO, go to E.
H. Congrats! You're the proud owner of a shiny new Provisional Class D Washington, D.C., Driver's License.

After you've held your Provisional License for six glorious, violation-free months, and if you've added ten hours of night driving to your driving practice log, you'll be upgraded to a full license, although you'll still have hourly and passenger restrictions placed on you until you turn 19.

D.C. runs a tight ship.